Journey's can change direction

Its been a while since my last blog post here, and I can now sit and be comfortable with my decisions. I had planned after having to pull out of this years Rottnest Channel Swim due to hypothermia that I would make another attempt at a solo crossing in February 2017. Some things have happened in my life for me to make some slight changes.

I know that I don't need to make the crossing solo to prove to myself or anyone else that I can do it. I know that I am recovered from my eating disorder and can continue to gain and maintain my weight and not stress over it. I can live my life without having to be exercising every day. I have also come to find new loves in my life that now take a new priority. I have new dreams and goals that I am now working towards.

It has been a tough decision to make about not attempting another solo crossing, but I can happily say that I will be doing a duo with my awesome training partner.We will have our amazing support crew just like this year and we will be training hard like we did last year, just this time I have put a little more focus on other things in my life and not just being totally obsessed with swimming and making sure I am getting faster with every training session.

I know in my heart of hearts that I will one day try a solo crossing again, but for know I am happy to do it as a duo, and also to focus on my love for writing, and reading. Writing is my new journey and you know what its perfectly ok to make changes along the way of your life's journey and to me that is what the experiences in life are for, and the lessons that come with the experiences as well.

So there I am. New pathway, a slight change in a previous goal, and so much to look forward to.

Have an awesome week to come and enjoy the experiences you have every day xx

Hayley

Being Inspired...

This week has been one of finding some positive head space for my swimming. I have danced around the idea of not re attempting the Rottnest Swim for 2017. I thought I had made my mind up until late this week. I know a lovely lady in America who this week circumnavigated Bermuda 36.5 miles in 21 hours (58.74 kilometers), and I hear she is going to be swimming the Hudson 8 Bridges starting in a weeks time. So I kicked myself up the bum and said, well its time to get my shit together and stop shutting down and start ramping up. I also got a message on Facebook from the Rotto Channel facebook page for the date for next years event. 27th February 2017. I have also had the bonus and thank goodness the constant pep talk from my training partner over the last few weeks. So I am privileged to have people in my life who try to keep me on track.

So yesterday when I went swimming, it was the first time I didn't have fixed in my mind not to swim, but the opposite, it was get in and swim. It was a 1500m swim, nothing big, but more than I have done over the past few weeks since being back in the water. I felt almost like a new person getting into the water yesterday. I am looking forward to my swim tomorrow morning and an endurance swim on Wednesday morning. I can now look forward to getting into pool and turn the arms over and watch the black line pass me by.

Today while I was out for my first walk in over 2 years I saw some local guys out on their bikes and again I have tossed around the idea of selling my second road bike and giving up on my cycling all together, seeing them smiling as they rode past me, has made me feel that I need to stop being so negative about everything that I used to do and love, and find time to fall in love with it again.

The courage it took my friend to swim around Bermuda and to swim again the Hudson  Bridges is enough to show me that I can stop kicking myself and pick myself up and get back in the water, get out for walks and back on the bike.

Have an awesome week everyone and look to someone who inspires you to kick yourself in the butt to get back on the path to your goals and dreams.

Hayley xx

Swimming for the love...

Lately I have had issues with getting back into swimming properly. I have had surgery which put me out of the water for 6 weeks, I have had a minor car accident that put me out of the water for a week. I have mornings where I really haven't been bothered to swim at all. So why am I feeling so 'Blah' about swimming now, when I couldn't get enough of it last year leading up to the Rottnest Channel Swim?

I have gotten a year older, I have been busy, I have made changes in my life. I have found a new love for reading and enjoying quiet in my life. I guess I worked so hard at swimming last year that I gave everything else up, or didn't even look at anything else that would interest me. I have also found that I have a hate for 25 meter pools. My local pool is 25 meters and as much as its a great pool and really close to home, I hate going there. Its a 20 minute drive to other pools of larger size. I swim on Wednesday mornings at Belmont Oasis and love it. I got in on Wednesday for a session and as it was freezing cold outside and dark when we arrived at 6:15 in the morning, I managed to get my head into gear and get a 2km swim done which consisted of 1500m straight up and then 5 x 100m sets. I haven't done a 1500m swim in ages and it was nice to get a good rhythm going and as much as I was probably 4 minutes slower over all for the distance compared to just before the Rotto swim, I was happy with he mornings session.

I am going to be re-attempting the Rotto swim in February 2017. I guess now knowing what to expect and deal with I am not so pushed to be pushing my body so early, and instead doing a very slow build up to the Summer swim season and also getting back to the love of swimming, and not as much as the feeling of having to swim. As someone has told me more than once..."its ok, you are human!" I am human and I am going to have days where I don't want to do something, and you know what, that is ok.

As it is a long weekend here this weekend, I am working, though start my long weekend on Monday when everyone is starting to wind their long weekends up. I decided this week that I was not going to be swimming Saturday as I usually would, or Sunday, but swim at a different pool on Monday, and for the love and fun of swimming, more than the have to.

If its raining, run outside and dance in the rain and have fun.

Have a great weekend

Hayley xx

Finding my swimming mojo

Over the past few weeks as much as I am trying to be positive about my swimming, its just not clicking. I feel like I really can't be bothered getting into the pool to swim laps. I feel tight and slower than pre-surgery which I know is to be expected. Plus having a small car accident three weeks ago has not helped with whiplash and a sore back. So the last couple of weeks have been hard to find motivation to go swimming and even when I am there, to do much.

So I am hoping with a new week I can get my mind in a better place and start to be more driven in the water that sinking. I guess as much as I know in my heart and mind I won't be able to run again, but maybe power walk, that I could go back to triathlon again. So with a few things running (excuse the pun) through my mind, and not having my swimming mojo, its been just a little difficult to find much drive at all. The other hard part I guess with out really taking the time to think about it, is I finished my last open water swim doing the Rottnest Channel Swim in February, and with a DNF (did not finish) due to hypothermia and I haven't been back in the ocean since, due to surgery and now weather as its cold, stormy and almost Winter. Swimming in the ocean for me, makes me feel free, light, one with the ocean so to speak, and the feeling of almost flying. I guess that is the part I miss the most, where swimming in the pool, just ins't the same.

Now its up to me to find away to pull myself out of this hole and into a better mind set for when I swim in the pool and push that bit harder and smarter.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

Never Give Up!

 When you have a dream and for some reason you think that you can no longer reach that dream, remember there is always a way, it might be a different direction you need to take to get to that dream, but never give up!

I thought I wouldn't be able to go back to triathlon, though I had a wonderful thought of instead of doing the run section there might be the idea to power-walk it. Though I need the all clear from my surgeon before I tackle this idea.

I call it an idea not a goal at this point, as I don't want to get my hopes to high and then land myself back to where I was when first told I wouldn't be able to run again. As much as I would love the to do another solo half Ironman event, I have to be very much aware, that I can not afford to injure my foot again, as it will only cause bigger problems in the future.

I wish I knew years ago what I know today. As cliche` as that sounds I think aspects of my life would be different, though many would be the same. I wish I could have loved triathlon as a 20 something and had more time doing such an amazing sport. I am very grateful for the times I have competed as a team member and a solo participant, with great memories and wonderful experiences. So what ever happens, I will work my way through it and come to see the reasons for what happens.

Have a great weekend when it comes...

Hayley xx

Training to start 2016/17

This week will see me stepping back up to quality training, as the past week has had set backs due to a minor car accident last weekend. Yesterday was my first proper swim session in a little while and it was good to be back into a better perspective on my swimming. Over the next couple of weeks as I start to get more sessions in per week again and slowly build back to my previous fitness levels before my first attempt to swim the Rottnest Channel.

I have realised I have lost speed over the last eight to nine weeks that I have had off from surgery and accident. So with determination and drive I will strive to rebuild and become faster again and regain the 11 seconds per 100m I have slowed down by. In order to rebuild, and as much I would like to go back to swimming  5-6 days a week, its not going to happen. I need to slowly rebuild. Form is still where is should be, its back to rebuilding the strength in my back and shoulders. Also I noticed with my swimming yesterday I need to do a bit more work on my lung capacity, so more sessions of more strokes per breath that needs to be taken while doing freestyle. Above all else with training its also a matter of staying focused on good eating habits, or I will be back to where I was the day of the swim as well, with not fueling properly before the swim, and that would have made the attempt a little harder as well. So as this week takes shape so will my swimming. With a session planned for tomorrow night for an hour.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

A new year of training

 With two weeks till I start back to proper swim training, I am looking forward to the time in the water to relax, clear my mind and to plan for the next eleven months of training, but not just myself, this year I am coaching more people, others who want to join in the journey of swimming across the Rottnest Channel. I will have a lovely team of four, hopefully a duo team and four of us who wish to do the solo.

For me this year training will be different. Not so much on my technique of swimming more on being able to deal with long cold swims. I am hoping to do some winter open water swims as well, to condition the body into the cold and choppy waters that we get on the channel swim. Even though this years swim was the best conditions that has been had in such a long time, there were still areas of choppy water, especially once you start getting closer to Rottnest Island. I am looking forward I guess more to next years swim, as I know what to expect and how to deal with the sea sick situations that I had and knowing I am and will be even stronger physically and mentally than this year.

The next eleven or so months will be filled with so many new and old things. From swim training to writing novels, and to working, plus family time, my days will be filled and my life fulfilled. I guess that is the simplicity of it all. Its a matter of putting things in your life that you enjoy and that make you happy. Finding the courage to chase your dreams and goals, though finding the balance to be able to not rush and enjoy the journey no matter which way it goes.

Have a wonderful week ahead and chase your dreams...

Hayley xx

The Journey...Where ever it takes me.

I know I mention in my blog posts about the journey of life, or in life. I feel that at this time mine is taking on another curve. I am currently feeling like there is new lessons in my life and I am ready to take on those lessons, for I am sure there are positives to those lessons. I am the sort of person who believes that the universe has a plan for each and every one of us.

I have always being a very active person and today that seems to be slowing down, for positive reasons. I feel like my life is going in a new direction on my path and journey and one full of excitement. I guess its my time to finally see that slowing down, smelling the roses, so to speak and listening to the universe more is what I should be doing. I am not going to give up my swimming or my goal to swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island next year. I guess I am not going to be so obsessed with it.

This past few weeks I have been reading an awesome book by Paula Munier, Writing with quiet hands. I have been interested in writing for a while, and since starting blogging I have become more interested in non fiction and fiction writing. Writing with quiet hands by Paula Munier has opened my eyes even more to the craft of writing and not just the words that are written. Right at the beginning you are asked to work out what genre you are writing for. For me its a mix of Inspirational, Women's fiction and even stepping into the world of non-fiction for health and well being.

My daughter has been an avid writer for the last five to ten years, even at school she was wrapped up in her writing more than her homework. I knew that she had an issue with planning and this past week with what I have learnt from reading Writing with quiet hands, has helped me to guide my daughter to see that some planning is better than none. We have both spent some time planning our novels, and can now look to extend the planning and start the next phase of adding more detail to the plans. So here is to some awesome creativity coming from us girls.

I now step forward with reading another of Paula Munier's books, Plot Perfect. With today being a national public holiday where we remember those past that have sacrificed their lives for our country so we can have what we do today, and the weather here to be persisting down with lovely rain, and cool, but not cold temperatures its nice to be indoors to be reading, writing and learning.

If you get the chance to pick up a book and have the time to sit, read, learn and even run-a-way to a fictional world to be someone else just for the day. Enjoy and have an awesome day.

Hayley xx

Transitions in Life...

We all go through transitions in life, even from the time of being a young child. We go from being home with mum all the time to kindergarten, then we go to primary school, then high school, we make friends as we go, we might make friends when we start school, and then due to our parents having changed jobs, or moved house we change schools and make new friends, and even as we go through our adult lives, such as university, careers, moving interstate, overseas, etc life is all about transitions.

As much as transition can be a big part of our lives, why is it, that some transitions stand out a lot more than others? Is it the family member that is no longer with us, that makes us stand back and re-evaluate our lives? Is it the loss of a job that we start to think that a change in career or job might be needed? Is it a win fall in money that makes us change the way we live, by travelling, being financially free, being able to buy what ever, being able to help others around us? Or can it be stopping and listening to your own inner voice for once? The day you get back news from your doctor about having to deal with a non life threatening illness? Why does it take so long for us to stop, take stock, and re-evaluate our lives?

For me I have felt myself going through a big transition period in my life for the past few years. I have decided that recovery from an eating disorder to be vital to my well being and that of my family and friends around me. I have come to see that as much as I love exercise and always felt the absolute need for it everyday, isn't really needed as strongly in my life, though when I do exercise its for a positive reason not a negative one. My down time after surgery to see that a love as a child of writing can be so therapeutic and enjoyable and not rushing the inner thoughts and ideas, when just letting them come as they do is most enjoyable. So for me going from a hyper person always on the go, and not stopping till I drop into bed and fall asleep, is really no longer, and that I can take time without being scared to listen to my inner self, find my joys, lessons, and understanding.

Transitions in life can be simple or more complicated. It is up to ourselves to work out if these transitions are a lesson and take heed of that lesson, or just a transient time in our lives.

Have an awesome weekend...

Hayley xx

To be Perfect or Imperfect the Choice is Yours!

"She sits by her window, gazing out at the garden, her mind running away, to a far away place. The place of perfection. The perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect career, and living the perfect life. Pop the day dream ends, her mind rushes back to the present, school, home, parents...the ideals of a twelve year old girl."

Why do we constantly search for perfection in everything, when deep down we all know its not there. Why does society push for us to be perfect? To have the perfect career/job, house, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, life, body, school exam results, friends, family...Nothing in life is ever perfect. This is what we need to explaining to the generations to come. Life is Life, its what we make it, not what we are expected to be!

If there was a thing such as perfection, we wouldn't have failed businesses, divorce, murder, theft, jails, war,  and the list goes on. So we already know that nothing in life is perfect, so how come its so hard to live a life that we are happy with and don't have to go searching for something that isn't there? This is a big part of the disordered eating and eating disorder world. That perfection is always searched for and as we can only really control our bodies, of what goes in it and out of it, we find that we get so caught up in the search for perfection that we forget that reality isn't what we think it is. Its a false sense of reality, that we are fed through social media and society that we should have the perfect body for summer, the perfect job, saying,  its the only way we will really be happy. Its not what life should be, its a matter of doing things that make us laugh, engage in, enjoy, share, and yes even argue about, be passionate about, and that is doesn't have to be perfect to work.

How can we break this on going wheel of looking for perfection in our lives? How do we come to understand that looking for what makes us happy is enough? How do we teach our kids and the coming generations that life is for living not searching for what is not there?

Take a moment or three and stop, look at yourself and see if you are still searching for the illusive world of perfection...if you are, please stop, take time to see that its not there, and that finding what makes you laugh and smile every day is enough, and that you are unique and different and don't need to be seen as being perfect or we all would be the same and that my friends is boring. We are different for a reason.

Have an awesome weekend everyone...

Hayley xx

Same Journey Slightly Different Direction...

ZigZag Sunset

As time has progressed in my recovery from foot surgery and my patience or there lack of has started to surface more in the past week, even to the point of feeling like I had to run away with a writing magazine to have coffee at the local coffee shop and then head out to see the sunset, which may I say was stunning. Then I came home to have some dinner and rest the foot some more and then head for bed.

I have been writing over the last couple of weeks as I layed on the couch resting and then yesterday I just hit a massive brick wall with
it. Writers block I guess, but I just didn't feel the words were working for me or the way I was writing. While sitting at the coffee shop with my magazine I wondered, instead of going down a non fiction style, why not try fiction, but with some truth in the story. I suddenly felt ideas flying at me, luckily enough I had my mobile phone with me to be able to take notes as I was getting the thoughts. As much as I had prior the book style to be non fiction, I didn't even consider a fictional style book instead. I remembered writing a story in year ten at high school for English, and got an 'A' for it. The feeling of getting that 'A' resurfaced with in me, the feeling of accomplishing something that I thought of and that was good enough for such a good grade. So why can't I do it again, and use a deeper part of me to impart words of wisdom in a different way.

Its interesting that you can have such a definite way of doing something and it takes just one little thing, thought, idea, block, etc to get you to think of doing the same thing but just in a different way. This can be done for so many different things in your life. A particular project you are working on, a particular way you train yourself or others in sport. It just takes that something so small to help you to see that you can have the same out come, but doing it in different way, just taking in a slightly different direction. As long as you have the end goal still in mind that is what matters, how you get to that end goal is the journey and one that can have some amazing twists and turns and lessons to learn.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

Swimming...

 Its never to late to dream, its never to late to be the true you. The last day or so after watching a number of TED Talks and especially by Diana Nyad whom at 64 made her dream come true and not with her first attempt. She wanted to swim the area of ocean between Cuba and Florida,  103 miles (165km) in approximately 53 hours and to hear her speak and describe her previous attempt with dealing with box jellyfish, and having to stop, to come back a time later and conquer the distance and be such a massive role model to others either in the life of swimming or sport, to people who are in the corporate world, and even everyday people like myself. To see Diana's strong will and determination is energising.

Its a mind set we get into when we are older and think that we are unable to do what we wanted when we were younger. Even if that goal is so big, why not try and break it down into one that can be reached now.

Diana talks about her team, in such a way that makes her crossing that much more, she calls them the experts, courageous, and she says that they have all been on a journey. You see swimming is normally such an individuals sport, but when it comes to marathon swimming it most definitely becomes a team sport. Not in the sense of multiple swimmers, but yourself, coach, family, spotter, paddler, skipper, etc. For someone like Diana who took on such a huge swim and a massive dream all the people around her were so important to help her reach her dream and to be able to go on such a journey for everyone else I am sure they will never forget.


For my first attempt at swimming Rottnest Channel, even though the distance was substantially less, having my team around me during the months of training, my paddler for the times we got to go out before the event, an on the day the fact that we were both sick due to the carbon monoxide coming from the boat fumes and the fact that he could keep me going for as long as I did and get through his own issues. My
spotter, who is just so awesome to have and the awesome mothering person she is and strict when I needed it with my feeding. My Skipper well, for me as much as he skippered the boat we didn't many dealings with before hand. So when it comes to the next attempt we will be having someone who is a friend which I am sure will just add that little more excitement on the day next year. I was super lucky to have an awesome training partner that had my back through all the months of training and even though we got split up on the swim itself and that I didn't make it to the finish line, he did and to be there for him was great. As much as there was disappointment for me from everyone else there was the elation for my training partner. I guess he was lucky to have a training partner in me that helped with his coaching for the swim. You see having a team around you and not just the ones that are not actively participating on the day such as family which are there to deal with your tiredness, emotions and bitching from frustration, they are so important to the whole equation.

Swimming has taught me so much, not just in the way of being healthy, but to allow me to know that my dream as a child to swim competitively doesn't have to die. I just had to learn how to change it a little bit. As much as I am just a little to old to be a competitive swimmer in the Olympics, I am able to see that the swimming I do now is still competitive, but not against everyone else, but with myself. I have also come to learn that I have a love for coaching and am excited to be looking at taking on a coaching course later this year and to help others with their dreams for swimming to Rottnest, and also Triathlon. I am also excited as I would love to be able to help down syndrome kids to learn how to swim and enjoy the water as part of their therapy in any way.

The peace and tranquility that comes with swimming can't be put into words for me, which is strange as I usually can articulate what some is quite well, though I guess the fact that swimming just runs so deep in me that its apart of me, and this time of not being swimming has allowed me to see this for all the positives that comes with swimming.

 Have an awesome week everyone, and just know, that no matter how old or how young you are, you can still chase your dreams, they may need a bit of alteration, but you have it in your heart to make them come true.

Hayley xx

Do you live for your Resume or your Eulogy?

While being confined to my couch recuperating from foot surgery and to stop myself from going completely nuts, I have been spending time watching TED Talks on many different topics. I found one by David Brooks, called Should you live for your resume....or your eulogy?

So here is my question, which do you live for? your career or your life? I guess it can be looked at as both. People build their careers to provide for their families which is the norm, but do we ever get to a point where that becomes not enough and suddenly we wonder is there more to life than 40, 50, 60, 80 hours a week in an office? Or are we so scared that with out our careers we don't know who we are? Or is it when we have a sudden life changing scare that we start to think deeper than just our careers? So many questions, the answers to them are within ourselves. Only the individual can answer the questions that are relevant to their lives.

I would like it if people who were at my funeral to know that I loved them deeply, was true to myself, loyal to my friends, a role model to my children and others around me. For people to remember me for my stubbornness in away of being positive, standing up for what I believed in, and I guess the most important one is to be able to leave this life with no regrets. I don't want to be in my last days and saying "only if..." I understand why people have a bucket list, but everyday we should be able to cross of something from that bucket list whether it be a big event, or the smallest one.

I am currently writing a book about my Eating Disorder and my Recovery, I don't expect it to be best seller, but I do hope that if one person was to read it and it touched them in a way to start their recovery journey then it has made a difference. Going through and dealing with a mental illness everyday is a challenge with in itself, but to be able to understand and know that you are a stronger person as you go through each day is huge. Not to be known for your mental illness but to be seen as a healthy, lively and yes stubborn individual makes me happy. Stubbornness can be seen as both a positive and a negative and I guess it is in the way you use your stubbornness to which way it goes on the spectrum. For me I used it originally in the negative aspect with my eating disorder and the many tantrums I have had with regards to eating have been huge. Though as I have learnt and come to understand my triggers for my eating disorder and how to deal with them on the positive my stubbornness is more to do with my love for endurance sports. You have to have a stubborn streak in you I think to be able to push your body to its limits at times and know that some events you do will either make you or break you. Its that stubborn streak in you that will keep you coming back, even if you don't make it the first time, you will come back until you conquer the goal.

Ok lets get back to the Resume or Eulogy part. You can build the most amazing Resume, you can have the most amazing career, but is that a surface happiness or is that a happiness that is felt from deep within your heart. Now I am not sayig that people out there whole heartedly love their careers/jobs and that is great, I can say that I do love my job, its not a career for me but its my job. I get to meet people, help people and yes taste some amazing wines and spirits. I also get to deal with idiots, arrogant people, those who think they know more than they do. So yes a very diverse business that I work in, but my job is not my life. Though I think some people around me might think otherwise. I believe my life to be multi-faceted and that gives me paths on my life's journey that keeps life interesting and fulfilling.

Below is the dictionary definitions of Career, Job and Eulogy. Out of the first two which do you have?

Career:
an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training,followed as one's 
lifework:

Job:
a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's
occupation or for an agreed price:

Eulogy:
a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a
deceased person.

As morbid as this might sound, but an interesting experiment, have you ever thought of putting yourself (figuratively) in the thought of your own funeral and writing your own eulogy? I have strangely enough a few times. I guess for me who has a tendency to think maybe a little to much its not that scary to do anymore, but had given me insight to where I am on my life's path. Its interesting to see in your own words what you would think people or yourself would say, positive and the negatives, and just maybe these are some hints for you from the universe to where you are along your life's journey.

Take the time to enjoy your journey and if you don't like it you can change it.

Hayley xx

The Best Motivation Video 2015 - POWER OF CHOICE

Your Life Is A River

While sitting in hospital this morning, post surgery from yesterday I was reading Your Year For Change, by Bronnie Ware. Its a great book of her insight to living, as she was working with people who were dying, and learnt so much from them and how she uses those lessons in her own life now and helping others to live life now, not have regrets while you lay on your death bed.

In chapter 16 Flowing Forward, she talks about the start of the creek that breaks into different directions that lead into the river, that also goes in different direction to lead to the ocean. This is one of the best metaphors for life and life's choices. For each diversion the creek takes to get to the river, is the choices we make in our lives, for every bump and turn is a new choice of direction.

I made a choice two years ago to compete in the Busselton Half Ironman, knowing I had a possible injury. that injury didn't show up as bad through my training, until the run leg of the triathlon. Since doing that triathlon I have learnt that I had a calf muscle tear, and sesamoiditis, Now I should have stopped running prior to this, but the stubbornness that resided in my was so strong, I didn't want to give up my love of running. I got to the point of seeing my sports physician nearly three months after the triathlon, and was told that I wasn't to run anymore, so we could give the foot time to rest and try to heal. Jumping to today (nearly two years since the triathlon) I had surgery yesterday to fix the issues. I had a ligament removed and also one of the sesamoid  bones as well that was aggravating the ligament as well. The surgeon was able to pull tendon through to stabilize the other bones. So we got the best outcome for the future.

As for running in the future it won't happen. I made the decision a long time ago that I wouldn't be able to go back to pounding the paving, as only being 44 years old I still have a lot of time to be on my feet, and don't want to make it worse before its needed. We are constantly going down the creek, to the river of choices in our lives. Now I am a firm believer that the universe puts turns and bends in our creeks and rivers for us to make the choices to make it to the ocean (our purpose). In the past couple of weeks since I did the Rottnest Channel Swim I have many ask about swim coaching, or people asking me questions on what is the best for open water training. Is it the right avenue to go down or not, I will take my time in thinking and watching for the direction down the river. It has been something that has played on my mind for a little while and I have enjoyed coaching my training partner/boss over the last twelve months leading up to the Rottnest Swim. It will be interesting to see what the universe puts in my path to show me the right way.

As we all swim or kayak down the creek, river to the ocean we have the decisions to make on our journey, there is no right of wrong (unless you are putting yourself or others in harms way) decision as we will make it in one way or another. Life isn't supposed to be a straight line or we wouldn't learn anything on the way.

Have a great week everyone

Hayley xx

Some Times You Learn

This past week has been a big eye opener for me. I have had to learn that even though I didn't make it to the finish line last weekend, I made it to the 15.5 kilometer mark and that is 5.5 kilometers further than I have ever swum before and its a bloody long way. I also had to understand that as much as I was disappointed in not making it to the finish line, I gained approximately 15 kilograms while training, working full time and going about my "normal" life. I also have put my eating disorder into the past, and know that I don't have any connection with it any more. Its not who I am now!

I had one of my customers come into work and ask how the swim went. When I explained that I didn't make it to the finish and why I didn't, and also explained what I had to get through to where I was at the start line last weekend. His comment as he was leaving was, "you are a hero to me!" Now for me that was very overwhelming to hear. I have never had someone say that to me before. I felt humbled by his words and a little uneasy as well, as I didn't think about what had happened in that sense. I guess by not finishing I managed to learn more about myself and my capabilities, but also where things can change, and ways I might be able to help others.

Learning that I am more than physically strong and mentally strong has been an eye opener as well, I never saw myself as an emotionally strong person, Now I can say, yes I am, I am confident that I can deal with issues in the healthiest way now and not sabotage myself back into bad unhealthy habits.

Now I prepare for foot surgery on Wednesday, and then at least six weeks out of the water. Which will allow me time to organise some awesome training sessions, gain some more weight, relax and get some well needed time for writing done. Then once I get the go ahead its back into the water and training ready for Rottnest Channel Swim 2017.

Have an awesome weekend everyone, and even when something doesn't quite go to plan you will always see that there is a positive and a lesson to learn.

Hayley xx

Rottnest Channel Swim 2016...

Well what a day it was, Saturday 27th February 2016, we woke at 3am to pack cars and get ourselves ready, first mistake happens, didn't eat anything for breakfast as nerves were getting the better of me. Hubby and a friend headed off to meet up with my Skipper and boat. My friend Trish was my life guard and spotter on the boat to allow the skipper to focus on the issues on the water. Myself and Kim my training partner with our paddlers headed to Cottesloe Beach to drop off the Kayaks and ourselves to get ready. An amazing scene to be on the beach pre-dawn and with so much happening on and off the water.

Prepared as much as I thought I was, we were called up for our wave to start. Standing on the beach with others and looking out to sea with all the boats and kayaks ahead, and the beautiful Leeuwin Ship placed at the 1500m mark. This was where we couldn't go any further if we didn't have our safety crew with us. The starting gun went off, and we were in the water taking it easy to start with, as we had such a long way to go. We picked up our kayaks and were heading out to find our boats. Once we picked them up, it was head down and arms over to make it to the other side.

I was feeling super comfortable being in the water and my stroke rate was going really well. I was steaming ahead. It was time for my first feed and it felt like I had only just gotten in the water, but it was 30 minutes into the swim as I had instructed. I was feeling great. With my first feed down and feeling comfortable I was back on the go, head down and arms swinging. My breathing was great, felt calm and comfortable. Time past and the water still calm it was already time for a second feed. Time went on and then by about the fourth or fifth feed I was starting to get nauseous and then up it came. This continued for some time on and off, until just after the 10 kilometer mark I was so very sick and was not feeling great any more.

I kept swimming and by the 12km mark I was still feeling sick but managed to take in a little fluid and carbs to keep pushing. I was sick a couple of more times and as I neared the 15km mark and with just 4.7km to go, I stopped, and my kayaker said we will feed and see how we go. The interesting part to all of this was my "form", swimming stroke was still very good as it was from the start, it was just that I was slowing down and I was taking more rests. By the time we just past the 15km mark and was nearing the 16km I stopped, took a sip of water and just felt like I wanted to sleep and felt so cold in the water. I knew this was not a good sign, and was starting to borderline hypothermia, which is very dangerous. So that was it, I was pulled out of the water at my decision and headed to the Rottnest Island to meet up with medical to be checked and family. I was disappointed in the end result initially as my training partner and boss Kim made it to the finish in eight and half hours which was totally awesome.

It was hard yesterday to hold in the sadness I felt that didn't get to the finish line. I was disappointed that I didn't make it to the finish line. I am though very proud that I have taken on this journey to learn that I have come such a long way in just over twelve months to see the true me, and the deep seated determination and courage to take on such a massive swim, that I have finally dealt with my eating disorder and can say I am fully in recovery. I have learnt more about myself in this time than in my 40+ years of life. I tried, I don't think I failed, I just hit some hurdles that I couldn't over come on the day, but the best part is, after some recovery time, getting my foot fixed and some down time to think, process and rejuvenate, I will be back in the water with the same end goal though with some good well needed changes to help me get there. So its now Rottnest Channel Swim 2017 that I will rise to conquer.

Have an awesome week...
Hayley xx

3 days 12 hours and counting to go...

 With just days to go its now getting down to the business end of training ready to swim on Saturday. So far the weather is looking pretty much perfect, fingers and toes are all crossed that it stays that way.

We do our last swim session tomorrow of 1500 meters, just a short half hour in the water. So it will feel a bit sad to only be in there for that long when we are used to being in the water for over an hour at a time. Then its time to rest, load the body with carbohydrates and protein. Try and not let the mind run to far ahead and play games. This is the difficult part of tapering, the head runs to fast and into so many different areas of the swim. When I am trying not to over think it at all, except to make sure all the last minutes things are sorted, such as nutrition, clothes and gear for after the swim.

The amount of training that goes into such a big event is amazing, and I know that if I hadn't got my eating disorder dealt with properly unlike when I did the Busselton Half Ironman a couple of years ago, I wouldn't be able to do the swim. Making the decision to get real with myself was step one, having the best support crew around me while gaining the required weight and dealing with it all emotionally while still maintaining a big training program. I can honestly say I am the fittest I have ever been, I am the most clear minded I have ever been. I am exceptionally proud of myself and being able to let go of my Eating Disorder and reaching a life goal and looking further into the future that also will require more weight to be gained as I need to learn to swim in cold water for the big picture.

The past 12 months of training has brought me to this weekend...Rottnest Channel Swim, which is the first stepping stone to reach the biggest part of the picture...8 Bridges Swim in America. This is 192km over 7 days down the Hudson River. I will make it to the dream and fulfill it. Along the way I hope to show teens that starving yourself to be like everyone else isn't the way to go, feed the mind, feed the dreams and make every one of them come true!

The above paragraph was taken from my Facebook page that I posted yesterday and this just sums everything up for me leading into Saturday, its not just about reaching Thompson Bay on Rottnest Island, its been about a massive start to a long journey of recovery, understanding, and discovery with so much more to come and dreams to dream.

Have an awesome week...

Hayley xx

8 Days 10 Hours to go....

With just over a week to go till the gun goes of for the Rotto Swim, I am going through all sorts of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, more excitement, thinking, organising, frustration, excitement, nervousness...it all goes in waves.

This will be the biggest sports event I will ever have taken on. At 44 years old. Who would have thought that someone who had, had an eating disorder for 30 plus years would have her shit together and be able to not just gain approximately 15kg, but also do it during over 12 months of intensive training. There are definitely things that we dream of and chase that can make such a significant difference in our lives. I know deep in my heart that I will make the 19.7 kilometer swim, come hell or high water...

I have been very blessed to have an amazingly supportive group of people around me. They have had to deal with my waves of emotions going from one extreme to another, keeping me on target with eating and making sure I don't over train. I have also managed to listen to my own body, which would never of happened previously.

Sharks...not afraid, jellyfish...not looking forward to, Swim...can't wait, the finish...bring it on, the pub...tall glass, lots of ice and bourbon with coke.

The Start Line

This will be the first of hopefully many marathon swims to come.

The Finish Line

14 days to go!

 With just 14 days to go, and my training partner and I take on probably one of the biggest challenges to date. 19.7 kilometers of open water, where there could be sharks, cargo ships, we know there will be lots of other swimmers, boats and kayaks. This is a swim not to compete against each other or others, its about seeing just how far our bodies can go and how our minds cope with such stress on the body.

Now doing a half Ironman event a couple of years ago, was hard, and yes the training put me in good stead for complete it. In triathlon you have a very short swim (either 1.9km or 3.8km) then cycling (either 90 or 180km) followed by the last discipline of running (21.1km or 42.2km). Now these distances are from either a half Ironman or and full Ironman. I have only done short distance or half Ironman. I know that when I competed in the triathlon, I was able to stretch my legs when they were cramping or my back on the bike and I could walk if I needed to on the run, when it comes to swimming the Rottnest Channel or any other endurance swim you don't have that luxury. This is a game of mind and body, to make sure you can keep them in sync with each other for as long as possible. The other issue is Hypothermia, where you become so cold that you run the risk of being pulled out of the water and even taken to hospital, this can also be a life threatening issue with endurance swimming and not something you take lightly.

I have a number of people that keep asking me, "why?" and "are you crazy?" I have also others who wish me all the luck and have high regard for what I am going to be doing.

I know I can stand tall and say I have faced more in my life than swimming across an channel and made it to the other side and this will be no different. I am super lucky to be sharing this event with my training partner whom is also my boss, and friend. My husband and kids. Also close friends that are part of our safety crews. This is be a great memory and experience for them as well as us swimming. They will be apart of an amazing group that has allowed us to reach for our dreams and goals and make them come true and memories that we will hold forever.

I hope that in time I can use my experience with marathon swimming to encourage other girls, women, men and boys to reach for their dreams no matter how scary and big they are and know that with the hard work to make them come true is all part of an enriching journey and the lessons that you learn are forever with you and will make you a stronger and different person, no matter what you are dealing with in your life and why you want to reach the dreams you and goals you do.

Let your Spirit Fly and your Soul to saw...

Hayley xx

21 days to go!

 With only 3 weeks tomorrow till we place our feet in the sand of the start line for the Rottnest Channel Swim, I am full of excitement and a little bit nervous.

The past couple of weeks have been very full with swimming and work and trying to make sure I am eating and resting properly as well. My training partner and I have pushed to six days a week and up to seven swims, distances ranging from two kilometers to five kilometers. Its been interesting to see how the body and the mind have coped and so far so good. Have had a couple of issues in the last week with my shoulders, though am very lucky to have a great physiotherapist to help in that area with pressure point and acupuncture.

The next week will be our last week of solid training of up to 25km for the week and then we start tapering, when we rest more and train less, but this time is used for the body to recover and build energy stores and time to think the race plan out and make sure everything is ready to go, and also to keep a check on our crews. Over 12 months of training and organising comes down to one day, well in a way, but for me it will be the start of another chapter.

I will have surgery on my right foot post Rottnest Channel Swim and that will have me out of the water for six weeks at least, with the goal to be back in the water and competing in May, in the Busselton Half Ironman with a friend of mine as a duo. Then its time to grow gills and push the kilometers up as I will look to compete in the 2017 Rottnest Channel Swim as well, with one big goal is to swim a double crossing of the Rottnest Channel.

I have always dreamed big, and with some of these dreams they can be a bit scary and crazy, but we only live once, I guess and I want to make the most of the time I have at the age I am. I don't want to later in my life sit and say "What If?"

I love it when people call me crazy, and ask if I am scared of the sharks..."scary creatures." I'm not scared of them, I would probably crap my bathers first and then settle myself and keep swimming. The ocean is their home and I have the most respect for the creatures that inhabit the ocean.

So with the next 21 days its more swimming, the more rest and eating. I look forward to putting on my white swim cap, timing chip, race number tattoo (54) and lathering up in Stingose, sun cream, zinc and wool fat, then stepping forward to await the staring horn before we head off into the big blue wonder of the Indian Ocean and head to one of my all time favourite holiday destinations.

Have a great weekend everyone...

Hayley xx