Learning the art of rest...

 This week I am learning the art of rest. As a person who is usually so wrapped up my sport and life I am usually bouncing around and manage to keep going like the "Everyready Bunny". Well I can say today I felt more like the tired bunny.

So this art of resting, I am still not sure if I like it, and yes here in Australia its winter time and the mornings are cold...but not as cold as other countries get. I threw out my plan to go swimming this morning at 6:15am when my alarm went off and I went back to sleep.

And its back into the water tomorrow...I hope it makes me feel a little more awake than I was today...

I am learning, even though probably slower than others that as much as its great to have a plan in life for everything, there are times when, you need to take that breath, trust in yourself and the universe and let it all go and see what happens. Your plan will still be there,  but some days throw it all to the wind and take that rest day, you never know, like it do, some times is actually not that bad...ok, maybe it is if you are a crazed athlete that loves their sport so much that a rest day is agony...(laughing or grimising). I guess we can all get so caught up in our everyday lives, our sports and so much more that we do forget to let it all go, and see what happens. We can learn from these strange experiences as well.

Take a moment to breathe, trust your inner instincts and see what happens...you might just find something within yourself you never knew.

Have a great week...

Hayley xx

8 Months till Rottnest Channel Swim...

 Eight months till the Rottnest Channel Swim, and training continues. Its been a month of so much, from emotional situations, to learning to be come a more efficient swimmer, to pushing higher kilometers per week in the pool. Oh and making sure I get plenty of coffee after each and every swim...except Tuesdays which are becoming my rest day.

This past week I have started having issues with broken sleep, so the body is having to adjust to this as situations in life have caused this changed in my sleep pattern, and as I work in the afternoon through to evening, it makes for a very long day, when I get up before sun up for swim sessions. Now I wouldn't change the swim sessions at all, but would like to get back to a good sleep pattern.

I have found in making the small conditioning changes that I have been given I am already seeing changes for the better, and not having such sore shoulders, and even though I am more fatigued during the session, looking at the data, I am finding I have picked up the pace and swimming faster, though feel more efficient, and so from now on, its only going to get better.

So with only four and a bit months till the first 10 kilometer qualifying swim, things seem to be well in place for making the 4hr 15min cut off time. If we make it around the 4hr mark I will so happy as the rest of the season from November to February will be training time with some open water races, to keep the open water training going and staying in the right frame of mind as well.

So with one more swim session for this week, an not quite making the 25km for the weeks total, I am cool with that, as I can see good progression this week and with that in mind, making myself hit the 25km each week isn't always going to be essential. Making good efficiency progress is the key at the moment.

I hope everyone has such an awesome weekend...

Hayley xx

Life's Challenges

Life's Challenges!!!

 There are moments when the universe puts a massive spanner in your world and you need to navigate the best way to deal with this huge spanner, and see where it leads you or teaches you.

I have had one of those spanners thrown in my life, and over the last few days I have had little sleep, lots of emotions running through me, not knowing which way to turn, and what to do. So I decided tonight to do the only thing I know best...head for the ocean...

This is my place to think, de-stress and take a bit of time for me to clear my head a bit. I have also come to see that I might not get my full 25km done in the pool this week, and as much as I would and am a little disappointed I need to take this time to breathe.

Normally I would throw myself into my training in order to deal with these kinds of stresses, but for once I am deciding to take the healthier way and head to the beach for some fresh air, sounds of the waves, and the quiet.

I am trying to look for the positives in these challenges and even though at the moment of the unknown its hard, but have the best support crew around me to keep me from totally falling apart.

So staying focused on the healthier options in my life these are the important things to hold on to, and learn from this to know that no matter what the universe can throw at me I am strong enough and determined enough to deal with and in the healthiest way possible, and not revert back to the old unhealthy ways to manage the challenges and emotions.

I hope everyone is having a good week.

Hayley xx

My dream Island...Rottnest!

Rottnest Island

A beautiful small Island that is only 11 kilometers long and 4.5 kilometers wide with some amazing beaches all the way around the Island. The native animal on the island is called a Quokka...they are adorable to look at and very friendly, though scavengers. 

For me Rottnest Island is full of great holiday memories with my family. The swimming, fishing, riding, stubbed toes and of course the sunburn.  I look forward now to the swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island in February. I hope you enjoy these couple of pictures of my dream Island.

Fayes Bay

Thompson Bay

Have a great week everyone

Hayley xx

Explore...Dream...Discover...

 Explore: to look into closely; scrutinize; examine
Dream: an aspiration; goal; aim
Discover: to see, get knowledge of, learn of, find, or find out; gain sight or knowledge  of (something previously unseen or unknown)

In order for us to reach our goals I guess we need to follow the above. Explore what makes you excited, Dream of how you can do it, and Discover that you can!

For many years now I have always had some "crazy" goal or dream that I have wanted to reach. Even now as I can no longer run, and my dream of making it to the Boston Marathon is no longer, I have explored another way of reaching new dreams and discovering new things I am capable of doing. I guess the saying, "when one door closes, another door opens" is so very true. I have always loved the water, the ocean and yes even the pool. So going into marathon swimming doesn't seem all that crazy to me, other people see it as being crazy, but for me its another way of exploring what I am capable of doing, and learning new things, and meeting new people along the way.

This week has seen me take my swimming to a new level, in regards to distance, I was swimming 10 kilometers a week and now I am up to 25-30 kilometers a week which is great. I have one rest day at this point in time and will allow a second rest day if needed, even though I really don't enjoy rest days at all. 



On Monday I did two kilometers in the morning in a 25m pool and then in the afternoon headed for my favourite pool (50m) and powered through a three kilometer swim, and was feeling great even though a little tired. Tuesday I was back into the 50m pool for a solid five kilometer swim, which was wonderful, as it had been quite some time since I did that length of swim in the pool, that was normally left for the open water swims. Wednesday was into another pool that my training partner and I use each Wednesday, and this time it was 1000m then 500m slightly faster, another 500m still keeping a strong pace, then 1000m to finish off to reach our three kilometers for the day. It felt like a hard session as I was feeling fatigued from the days before, but still feeling good for doing the session and distance. 

Today was a rest day, not my favourite day of the week, but one that has to happen, which I have learnt over time or the risk of injury and over training happens. So I learnt today that I feel more tired when I haven't been swimming than the days that I have, and part of that is the wonderful feeling of endorphin's I get, and the warmth I feel from my muscles after a good solid swim. So it is back into the pool tomorrow morning for another five kilometer swim and the same both Saturday and Sunday as well. Which will finish off an awesome week of swimming.

We need to explore the possibilities in life, dream the wildest dreams to reach those possibilities and discover just how amazing bringing those dreams to fruition will be.

Have a great Friday tomorrow and the best weekend...

Hayley xx 

Just Keep Swimming...Just Keep Swimming....

 Today has been totally awesome...It started with a wonderful two kilometer speed set with my training partner in a 25 meter pool. So with our warm up done and I was already under 2:00/100m I was feeling great. We started out 100 meter sets with a good 30+ second rest as we were pushing the pace so much. We got mid way through and as I finished one of the sets I could feel my heart racing, and taking deeper breaths wasn't bring my heart rate down fast enough. So with guidance from my training partner to take the next set a little slower, in which we did I managed to slow it down, and then straight back into pushing hard.

Now with upping the anti with my swimming and knowing I would have another session later in the afternoon, it was important to make sure I refueled properly and off to my favourite coffee shop for awesome coffee, and scrambled eggs and gluten free toast...and yes it went down a treat.

It was time to head to one of my favourite pools. Its an outdoor heated 50 meter pool, and swimming in the sunshine was so good. Swim cap on, water bottle and jelly beans next to the diving block, and waterproof iPod attached to my goggles, I was set for what I knew was going to be an interesting swim, as I had already done a speed set earlier. I have done Monday double sessions before, but usually a lighter session in the morning and swim squad later in the evening.

 In I got and off I went, it was hard even from the start, I could feel my left shoulder, it wasn't pain, just a little discomfort. With having my music playing it was great to be able to switch the brain off from negative thoughts and focus on the music and lyrics playing. Since using the iPod, I have noticed that it has helped with endurance swims and even in the open water and even with this mornings speed set, as I wasn't focused on any negative thoughts running through my mind and just focus on my stroke and breathing.

I knew my endurance swim wasn't going to be a fast pace at this point as it was my first try at doing this kind of double session. With upping the kilometers each week and swimming back to back sessions, its teaching the body how to deal with fatigue, which is something I am going to have to face when I swim my qualifying 10 kilometer swim in November and even the Rottnest Channel Swim in February. So tomorrows swim will be a 5 kilometer endurance swim. This will be interesting to see how I feel after a good nights sleep and rest.

It is great to be feeling back in the swim...after having a few weeks of being out of sorts. So its on wards from here with seeing just how my body deals with all the training.

 I have been following the 8 Bridges Swim on Facebook this past week and have found such inspiration from the swimmers. They swim a marathon swim everyday for seven days down the Hudson River, USA. Now a dream of mine that one day I will make happen.

Have a great week everyone...

Hayley xx

Diving Deep...

 These past few weeks have seen me go from being super charged and training well, to getting the flu and loosing my swimming mojo and some happiness in life. So things are on the way back up, I managed to get a 3.4 kilometer swim in today, it was awesome to get into one of my favourite 50 meter outdoor pools and it was as warm as a bath, and it felt like coming home.

Swim cap on, iPod attached to goggles and off I went. The body was a little stiff to start with, but soon got into the flow and rhythm. Back to where I should be. I was on a mission this morning to see what my time would be for 1600m (1 mile) as I have found this amazing event in the USA that is now on my goal list. Its an event I would love to do in the next couple of years. 192 kilometers over seven days, how awesome would it be to conquer that!!

 So with now two big swims in mind, one next February and then another a year or two after its swim baby swim...Its interesting to see that as much as I am going to miss running as I thought I might be able to go back to hitting the pavement, well that is not going to happen as the feet are not going to cope with it and I will only damage them even more and as I am only in my 40's I have a lot of time I need to have good feet to walk on. So for me it will be all about the pool, open water swimming, so Sun, Surf and Sand...oh and chlorine...

So at the moment I am managing to get ten kilometers a week in, well as of Monday it jumps to 25 kilometers to push that much more. Now with this comes injury risks, that is why I am luck to have great people in my life who are able to help with physiotherapy and conditioning to help me reduce the risks.

So with this new lease on life and swimming again and feeling pumped, its back into the water again on Monday morning. Tomorrow will be a rest day before we kick start the new program.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend...

Hayley xx

Turning negatives into positives...

 The past few weeks have been a struggle, I have been tired, when normally I am excited about every day and rip raring to go when I get out of bed, but lately its been so hard. I have moments of great happiness and times of being sad, angry and frustrated. I can usually put my finger on the things that set me off into a spiral of negatives, but this time just haven't been able to.

Today was one of those days when I wish I had a magic wand to make the world stop. To pause everything for just a little while, to get off the roller coaster of life and just breath...

Its so easy to get caught up in every day of life and get dragged into the spiral of negatives and then your world gets filled more and more with the negatives and its becomes harder to find the positives in every day living. As I need to keep more positives than negatives in my life to stay on track with my eating disorder recovery, and not fall into the easy part of relapsing. I need to stay connected with my dreams of swimming and with Winter upon us here in the Southern Hemisphere there will be less swimming in the ocean and more time spent in the pool.

This week I came across the longest open water swim in the world...yes its in America, to swim the 8 bridges down the Hudson River. How amazing it would be to do this, 192km over seven days. I have this set in my sights in the next few years. Or it will be one lotto win and I am there next year. So with such a massive long term goal in mind the training I am doing now will work towards the longer goal. My biggest training issue will be not to get injured, and become a faster swimmer, which is happening each week, but I will need to be faster.

How is it that the negatives in our lives seem to make the biggest dent in us than the positives, which sometimes can seem to disappear so quickly. How do I stop this from happening. Knowing that some situations bring negative feelings, I guess its having the will to shift those negatives quicker and not dwell on them, and bring positives back into the front of my mind sooner, than later. I find music is my biggest positive. I feel I can loose myself in the music I listen to, and especially when I am in the car and have the music up loud and singing my heart out. This I have learnt more and more each week is a necessity, watching a beautiful young lady who does this each time I pick her up for work and belts out her favourite songs and doesn't care who can hear her. She shows me just how easy it is to have fun.

Have a great day/evening...

Hayley xx

Hiccups

This is a photo I took of Cottesloe Beach this morning, at about 7am. the weather said it was supposed to be calm and partly cloudy...I got to the beach to rain, rough water and so much seaweed, that I decided to turn the car around and head back to the hills and get coffee. I didn't even go swimming in the pool which is what I would normally do. So this I guess is one of those things called training hiccups. I have to admit I wasn't in the right frame of mind to swim this morning.

So lets look at the positives in this situation. I got a day of rest, the weight I lost when I was sick with the flu, is back on, I have time with family, and I will be able to get up early tomorrow and hit the pool for an endurance swim in the morning (25m pool), and just maybe even a short run. With the tomorrow evening finishing on a high of swim squad. Well I thought squad was going to be on, but a message has just come through to say that its not on anymore through winter at this point....so it looks like a Monday night gym session instead.

 Even though I didn't get a swim session done today, and yes it has bugged me a little, though did enjoy the coffee. Tomorrow is a new day and with the start to a new week.

Have a great week...

Hayley xx

Good Days and Bad Days in Recovery....

 This quote is so very true, when you are recovering from an eating disorder. I have been on the recovery road for over two years now, and still there are days when I don't want to fight on anymore, and make myself eat. You see I have no sense of hunger, that particular function no longer exists in me, I don't recognize much of the time that feeling of hunger. I can get very cranky if I haven't eaten for a long time, for instance, if I don't have something to eat at night and then don't have anything till lunch time the next day. So most days I need to just make sure I eat.

Today has been one of those difficult days, the one where so much is happening around you and you just can't be bothered putting up the positive fight. Though I have made sure I have eaten today and tonight, even when I just didn't want to, and that is the battle for the day.

I have days like this, but they are further apart than they used to be, which is good, and I am sure that at some point they wont happen anymore, and I look forward to those days. I was out and about this afternoon and had a chance to sit in the sun and contemplate something. As I face each day of recovery, I have a goal in mind that I need to gain weight for, and I make sure that I stay on track as much as I possibly can, even if I have a day where I don't eat as much as I should. Once I get to the point of successfully crossing the Rottnest Channel, what goal will I put in front of myself to make sure I can maintain my weight. With swimming in the open water it is necessary to make sure you have enough body weight to reduce the risks of hypothermia, and having enough fuel in the body for long distance swimming. Is it down to my determination to have a goal that requires my body to be put under pressure, or my determination to be healthy?

I can sit and analyse this all the time and I guess the answer could be different on any given day. Like today would be more along the lines of determination of putting my body under pressure. How far can I push myself? It is always about having some sort of control. We just change the way we have control of things in our lives. I have control over my training, and partly making sure I eat and gain the required amount of weight ready for the Rottnest Channel Swim. There is always a very fine line though, and at what point is that line crossed. As a woman who is in her 40's and knows so much better than to restrict my eating, there are times along this battle for health it gets hard and I guess I am only human to have a bad day.

I do believe in myself that I will come to a point in my recovery, where the bad days won't happen and I won't want to restrict, and just maybe I will have that feeling of being hungry again, and I look forward to those days.

I believe in myself to see the bad day(s) and know that its not going to last for more than one or two days, where previously it would have lasted for weeks.

I believe in my ability to make sure I stay positive and know that even though I don't want to eat, I need to.

I believe in myself that while my body can be put under physical pressure, I have the understanding that my body needs to be fueled properly and every day to reach my sporting goals and dreams.

I believe in myself that I can be a role-model to others who feel in order to have control of themselves by restricting food, or over exercising, or binge eating, is not the way to live a happy and healthy life, and that there is so much more out in this wide world of ours that we can explore and learn from.

I hope that tomorrow is a happier day, for me and everyone....

Hayley xx

One Step Closer....

Today I made one step closer to making my swimming dream come true, I have paid my deposit to secure the boat and skipper for the Rottnest Channel Swim in February. Once we get my training partner squared away with a boat and skipper its onward and upward with total focus on qualifying in the first 10km qualifying swim in November, that way,  once we have secured our place for the Channel swim in February we can use all the other swims for the season for training, and not worrying about qualifying.

So for me now its times to start crunching down on smaller details like nutrition, and strength training, with keeping the body and mind fit and fueled.

I hope everyone has an awesome week and find your inner fire...

Hayley xx