Happy New Year

I have just found this quote on Facebook tonight, and felt it worth every word, and wish everyone around this amazing world we live in the most amazing New Year, and even though 2015 is about to come to an end, we don't have to forget every thing we have learnt, lost, loved, shared and gained. These are all the memories that we will keep for a life time.

Happy New Years to everyone....

Hayley xx

Mullaloo 5km Open Water Swim....

This morning saw another beautiful summers day at Mullaloo Beach, Perth. Ready to face another five kilometer swim with many other people from around Perth. Distances on offer today were 500m, 1.25km, 2.5km 5km and 10km. As I have already done my qualifying 10km swim I made the decision to stay doing the 5km for the Open Water Swim Series. Though today will be backing it up with a recovery swim at our local pool, the cold water will help the muscles to recover. I have a 5km swim tomorrow on the cards with my paddler as a training session before doing Rottnest Swim.

So water temperature was a very pleasant 22 degrees C, very few stingers and a slight chop to the water when turning to head north. The difference with today's swim was the circuit was set in a clockwise direction when normally we swim in an anti-clockwise direction.

A couple of technical issues, goggles fogged up so a till sea water to wash out and we were on our way, oh and the feeling that my timing chip-band felt like it was going to fall off, so again and quick roll onto my back and check, found it in firm contact with the edges of velcro and back we swim again.

Now normally I wouldn't put up photos of my underarm, but as I didn't have any good war wounds from stingers today, the chaffing was as good as it gets, and believe me chaffing can be just as or if not more painful than stingers. So even though there were stingers in the water, but not as many as there has been at other locations, I tried something a little different today. A layer of Stingoses cream (soothes stings and insect bites) then a layer of sun cream over the top, though I did forget the vasoline which would have helped with reducing the chaffing issue, but again another lesson learnt.

With another 5km swim organised for tomorrow morning with my Rotto Swim paddler the vasoline will definitely come in handy and also the stingose. This will give me a total also of approximately 12km done for 2 days of training.

With eight weeks of good solid training left its a matter of keeping the kilometers turning over, as much of it will be done in the pool, it comes down to a lot of technique training, sprint training and also breathing. I found today that I wasn't exhausted after the 5km but felt no uncomfortable feeling like I normally do when I start to fatigue and the only things I can put this down to, is good calm breathing (every 4 strokes, site every 12 strokes) and being hydrated and energy loaded to start with.

The best part of an open water swim is the food after. Gluten free egg and bacon roll, followed by 2 scoops of choc-mint and white chocolate ice cream.

Now that my recovery swim is done, and now munching on caramel popcorn and chilling out, what else could a girl want.

Have a great day everyone....

Hayley xx

Merry Christmas....

Merry Christmas to everyone, hope for safety and love to all...

Hayley xx

Feeling Disconnected....

 Today has been one of frustration, emotion, and being disconnected. The past couple of day I have been running around getting the last of my Christmas shopping done. Here in Perth we have hit a bit of warm weather (40 degrees C), so the frustrations comes out more from being hot and bothered and trying to get everything done.

I have managed now to sit and relax and cool off under the air-conditioner in the study. I have my favourite music playing and just trying to chill out a bit.

I find this time of year a little unpleasant and unfortunately some people around me end up having to face my grumpy demeanor.  I have for many years built up my guard from negative conversations that I have had over certain Christmas lunches and dinners, though I just have to remember I don't have to sit through them any more and can relax and enjoy the day more than I used to.

I find that when I get into this disconnected situation I have to stop and remember that I am only human and have to face my emotions whether they are good or bad. If I can't get to the beach or into the pool, its me, my music and journalling or blogging. This time allows me to sit quietly, contemplate the lyrics to some of my favourite songs and just reconnect with myself. Life at this time of years gets so out of control with work, Christmas preparation, shopping and swim training. To have just a few hours to stop and regroup is sometimes all I need and by the next day all is good and back on track.

This is also the time people start to look forward to working out New Years Resolutions, something I don't think I have done in so long. I tend to think about things I would like to do or reach, so for me its more of a goal setting time. It can be a time of connecting with my inner self to work out what is more important to do and reach for.

Resolution: a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting,by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group.

Goals:
the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

This is where the difference is, goals show more direction in my opinion than a resolution which to me is a statement of wanting to do something, though more times it doesn't last more than a couple of days or a month at most.

Lets make the move to connect our own dots our own way...have a great night....

Hayley xx

Just 9 Weeks to go...

With just nine weeks till we take to the start line of the Rottnest Channel Swim 2016, it was back into the water today in the pool. This past week has been more of a rest week for me, I have felt very tired and needed to rest the body more than swim. I have learnt this the hard way before and realised listening to my body is so very important when it comes training for endurance sports. Mind you it is extremely easy to get lazy with your training, but I just knew this week I needed to rest more.

So with another good solid five kilometer pool swim done between shifts at work, I felt great in the water and my stroke rate and turnover showed good consistency as did my interval averages. This gives me a good feeling that I am on target for our next five kilometer open water swim next weekend (27th December). This swim might be a little more nerve racking only for the fact that there have been a few shark sightings up and down our coast, so here is hoping for no sharks and very few jellyfish...

Jellyfish...not my favourite sea creature

 As our pace is going well with our pool swims I hope that it will stay good and consistent in the open water and making sure the body becomes used to good strong and consistent arm turnover. This is part of my swimming I have had to work hard on, and stay focused on when I swim, and today was one of those swims that I could swim almost in a hypnotic state but stay mindful of what my arms were doing and feeling, so as I felt the slow down I was able to speed the turnover back up, and after each break to feed an drink I have always felt myself become slower, but today I managed to keep them turning over at a higher pace.

There is more work to do before we tow the start line in February, with more speed work to be done and lots more kilometers. In between now and then we have Christmas and New Year which can be a busy time at work, and time with the family. Which also allows time in the water, building the body's strength and mental strength as well.

Have a great weekend everyone...

Hayley xx

Its Up To You!!

This quote to the left was taken from Facebook, I have been seeing these over the past few days, as 2015 is coming to an end I know people are hoping that 2016 will be so much better than 2015. Why is this, why do we get to the end of a year and and always think we need the following year to be so much better? Is it because certain things during the year have been hard to deal with, have we lost loved ones, have people we know been diagnosed with cancer, or another illness? Have we or a loved one lost their job?

So why do we think that the following year should be so much better? The hard things that have happened are lessons for us to learn from, to see that we can cope with what the universe puts in front of us. Why should we take away the raw emotions of missing a loved one that has passed? Why should we ignore or try to forget that a friend has cancer and trying to fight, the fight of their life? Why should we forget about the amazing things that happened that year, like the birth of a new child, welcoming a new pet into your family, welcoming new friends into your life. Being on the most amazing holiday that you had. This is called taking the bad with the good. Its called LIFE....

Each year we are given what we can handle by the universe, or whom you believe is there (God, etc). Take some time to remember what you have done and been through this year and be thankful that you have made it through everything that was, and may still be. Its up to ourselves to make the most of our days that we have, the situations we go through, or that are in front of us, are up to us to get through and learn from the lessons that are placed there. We are the only ones that can make the changes that are necessary to be happy, understood, or to understand, to live. So if you haven't learnt that you are strong enough within yourself, you still have lessons to learn.

So whether 2016 is going to be your best year yet, its completely up to you to make it happen, and if there are times that are difficult its all part of living.

Have a great day and live life to the fullest its completely up to you...

Hayley xx

11 Weeks Till Rottnest Swim

With just 11 weeks till the start line of the Rottnest Channel Swim, training is going well, there have been a few mornings where I have not wanted to swim and have had to push myself that little bit harder to stay positive. Just being tired and having a long standing injury that needs surgery has its nights of keeping me awake and uncomfortable.

My training partner and I are in what I call a rebuild time, where after doing the qualifying 10km event in November we have had a little rest time and now we are into week three of a rebuild back to longer distances with better consistency of pace. We managed a good 3200m session this morning, in the local 50m pool and I can say its good as it helps with acclimatizing to cold water. This outdoor pool is not heated and in set in rock so it doesn't warm up even in the middle of summer when we have had 40+ degree (Celsius) days. So as we come closer to Christmas, things get a little hectic with work and sorting out family get together's, its still important to get as much training in as possible.

We have come up with an awesome and hard session just after Christmas of swimming for five hours in a pool. Now this is being done for a couple of reasons, time in the ocean will be hard to get our paddler(s) organised and our work schedules as well. So with being in the pool we can make sure we feed properly (every 30 minutes) and the monotony of going up and down a pool makes for good mental strength. Plus you don't have the help of the ocean current to push you through the water, so in a pool its you doing all the work.

 So five hours in the water. I haven't done any more than four hours before, and so pushing the body that little bit more, and further will be amazing, painful, and exhilarating as well. Its finding just how far one can push the body and the mind, staying focused and I am sure there will be moments of zoning out, as I did it again today.

After Christmas and New Year (busy time at work) I am looking forward to catching up with my paddler who lives a couple of hours south of Perth city, so we can have a session and get used to each other and just some time out on the water. Then it will be most of the time in the pool working harder and harder to make sure we are as ready as we can be for the big day

My Mantra When Swimming!

Have an awesome rest of the week and weekend to come...

Hayley xx

Strong Enough...

Eating disorders are estimated to affect approximately 9% of the Australian population. (National Eating Disorders Collaboration) 

To put it a bit more bluntly, 9% of 23.510 million is approximately 212319 people, that is how many is estimated to have an eating disorder in Australia. 

Now lets put this up against say breast cancer, as eating disorders are more prevalent in females.It is estimated that in 2015, 15,600 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer (bcna.org.au)

I was one of those 212319 people, I had an eating disorder for 30 years, and as I have posted before, am in recovery and only looking forward to a better and healthier life for myself and my family. My concern now is how can I make a difference with my experiences and hope to hell many other girls and boys don't have to see that anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders is an option to go to for their body image, or coping from life's stressors.  I have read recently that there is treatment for those diagnosed with eating disorders in private and public hospitals, but my question is how effective is the treatment? I understand the necessity for nasogastric tube feeding, I understand the need for medicating patients with anti-depressants, I wonder how many girls and boys are in treatment and not getting to the bottom of "why".

This is my goal. I was lucky I guess with my eating disorder, as I had had it for such a long time and only really came to terms with it a few years ago, I was old enough to know that as much as ED had a hold on me, I needed to get healthy and the need to know why I was letting ED hold me so tightly. I had a way of releasing my frustrations when they arose. I would get a piece of paper, and put a word in the middle (Hayley) and put a box around it, then I would have lines with other boxed that had descriptive words in them that would be how I was feeling at the time, or what was making me angry, frustrated and more. I would take these diagrams to my dietitian and psychologist and we would discuss them. It was good, as I was able to put these emotions on paper and allow myself to feel them.

Feeling emotions was something that didn't set comfortably with me, as I was ridiculed for it as a child by my mother. So in time and taking the effort and being supported I was able to understand and remember I was only human and was allowed to feel these emotions and voice them if I wanted to in the right circumstances.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I would love the opportunity to help prevent the high number of statistics of eating disorders, and they start young, and also be a mentor and support for those who are going through recovery. I was someone who didn't have a support group of others going through the same thing. My support system was my GP, Psychologist, Dietitian, Family (Husband and Kids), also my Boss and work colleague. I know there is a 20 week out patient course that can be done here in Perth, but what is after that, do people in recovery have someone they can continue to have contact with? or is it then on your own?

So I step forward with this goal, dream and hope to be able to help others to see an eating disorder is not the way, and there are healthy options to reach a healthier body image, or understand why you feel the need to take that risk of needing to control your eating so much. I look forward to learning myself from others.

Have a great week...

Hayley xx

A Little Piece Of Me...

Hi everyone, here is just a little video I put together this afternoon.

Hope you all have a great day.

Hayley xx

Stepping Forward...

 The driving force to help others. We go through our own trials and tribulations in our lives for so many possible reasons, at what point can we stop and say, "Hey these are for us to help others". Do we have enough faith, courage, strength i ourselves to be able to continue to to walk forward in our own journey, but also have the availability to reach out to others who want to change their lives for the better and what you or I are experiencing in our own lives can just maybe make that difference for someone else.








What you might see as something trivial that you are dealing with in your own life, others are finding it as one of the hardest parts of theirs to get through, and by just stepping out to lend a ear, a shoulder, a word of encouragement, might just be what that person needs to make it through another day, and start thinking of the more positives that are in their lives that they might not be able to see just at this point.

 I have managed to make a small step to reach for my goal of helping others. It would be a scary step to put myself with others who are going through eating disorders and other mental health issues in the sense that I know how easy it is to become vulnerable to possibly stepping backwards, but that is when you need to have the strength to know that you are there for others and you are strong enough to help those that need the help to move on to more positive places in their lives.

Taking the steps forward everyday to help myself, and to help others around me.

Have a great week everyone...

Hayley xx

The Universe Talks....

 No matter what you believe the universe talks, whether you believe in God, or a spiritual creator, we all have some form of belief system,  for me its the Universe. Like for instance to day, driving, which is usually the time I can dream and listen to the world.

I have dreams of writing, learning and helping others. I believe its true that we do hold the key to our journey, as no one else is on the same journey as you or me. People will walk beside you, but not in your shoes, as you to walk beside others. Our journeys start as a blank canvas when we were born, and as we grow and we are taught by our parents, family, school, friends, lovers, husbands, wives, children and so one, even by our animals (pets) that life isn't easy, its full of twists and turns, and some amazing and exciting events, moments. There are also some sad events in our lives like loosing family, or friends or loved ones to illness, accidents, and so forth. These are the twists that we don't have the control of the steering wheel to direct for these not to happen.

 For me when I am driving and usually when I don't have music on playing to distract me, I have these awesome conversations in my mind, on what I would love to do with parts of my life and how I would do them, how I can just maybe make a small difference in someone else's life. Books to read, information to look at, study to do, photos to take, swimming to do and where. Its almost like being a "free spirit" letting yourself dream so big, that there is this feeling of "have I dreamed to big, and yeah that would be a bit scary", but what is stopping me from building these dreams into a reality, why can't I help others, why can't I write that book that has been in me since high school, when I wrote a story and scored an "A+" for it and I still remember some of that story that I wrote.

So what might 2016 have install for me, more dreams, goals, writing, photography, swimming and yes helping others, I have no idea how just yet, but I am sure just some how it will happen.

What does 2016 have install for you, what dreams are you chasing, what do you want to happen next year, what are you plans for the next couple of years, yes you can talk to yourself about what your heart truly wants for you, its not always about what you mind wants, its what you heart so deeply desires. Find that one thing that you dream of that scares you to your core and go for it, chase that dream, do what is needed to make that dream come true, and like I have heard so many times recently from one amazing person I know that walked 5500 kilometers across Australia to raise money and awareness for Heart Disease and a more healthy life, Never Give Up, Never Quit and if you stumble get back up and keep going, its not going to be easy, if its going to happen the universe will put the right people, moments, events in the line of your path for you to get there, where you are supposed to be.

 Strive, reach, dream, be scared, be positive and you know what, you will do it!

Have an awesome Friday and weekend....

Hayley xx

Standing Tall in the Face of Recovery...

 This would be one of the biggest steps I have taken on my journey through my eating disorder recovery, putting these kinds of photos up for everyone to see. Though I feel it necessary for myself to see just how far I have come in two years. Me in 2013 weighing in at a very light 42kg (92 pounds) and me today 2015 57kg (125 pounds). 

Me Today 2015

Me 2013

In 2013 I was still in the thick of restricting as I was slowly coming to terms with having an eating disorder, even though I was running, my energy levels were fixed on adrenaline. I was always looking for the endorphin high that running gave me and the more I ran the better I felt. So thinking that being thin helped me with my speed, even though I wasn't the fastest, I felt fast for me. Only if I knew then what I know now! I was in the grips of such unhealthy living. So self focused on my body and my needs for endorphin rushes that I didn't take any notice of what I was really doing to my body. Very little eating, usually one very small meal a day, lived off of coffee, chocolate and junk food (chips, high salt and high fat), but burnt it all off with over exercising.

In August of 2013 I made the real decision to get healthy and fight the illness and leave my eating disorder for ever. I had to realise that I had, had this eating disorder for 30 years, and looking back it wasn't a decision to loose weight as I was already so small. I just stopped eating. I wanted to have some control over my life, that I felt even at 10 I didn't have. I started seeing my psychologist, and found ways to understand why I was so drawn to restricting and what or who pushed my buttons to restrict. I made the decision to release certain relationships in order to make the necessary steps forward to a healthy life and future.

As I went through doing martial arts, triathlon, I was so wrapped up in the eating disorder and then trying to learn to eat proper meals. I should haven't have done triathlon when I did, looking back now, though I am glad that I did, as it was a massive learning curve for me, and I guess a journey I had to take in the early stages of my recovery.

Today I can stand tall and know that I have gained weight and muscle to be the healthy me that I am. Yes I have days when I am still not happy with having a stomach like I do now. Though I know its normal and a good thing. As I step into the sport of marathon swimming I have had to get to about 60kg (132 pounds) so I don't raise my risk of hypothermia while swimming in the ocean. Also having the energy levels required for all my training, working, family life as well. Having the muscle and strength for each training session and recovery as well. Everything adds up and if I was still in the grips of an eating disorder I would not be doing the things I am now capable of doing.

 Now to be totally and brutally honest, I like and dislike my body as it is today. I love the fact I have all the energy to live a full and happy life. I love the muscle tone I have, the only part that I have such an issue with is my stomach like I have said, even though it would be so easy to fall back into old unhealthy habits I make sure everyday I know just how far I have come, the goals I have for my future and the help and support I have from my loved ones and friends around me. Their help and support has been amazing and I am truly thankful for having them in my life.

So where to from here, I take each day as it comes and remember that I will keep this healthy life over the unhealthy life I used to live. I look forward to reaching my swimming goals in my future and look forward to hopefully helping others who are starting their journey through recovery.

This is me.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

Finding the Challenges In LIfe...

How does one find the challenges in life that are here to teach lessons, whether they be positive or negative?

How does one take serious illness and challenge it to be healthy again, or to learn to live with it?

How does one learn that what they loved to do, they can't anymore due to injury and have to find another challenge to keep them going?

How does one take the negative challenges in their lives and turn them into the positive challenges that they can help others with?

How do we take the positive challenges in our lives and ones that have taught us so much, and help others to have similar experiences?

Challenges come in so many things. In our day to day living, our health, careers, sports, children, partners. So why do we some times prefer to give up and let the negative challenges we see push us over the edge and feel that we can't go on? Why do we see others with challenges and pity them? Why do we not take each challenge we are faced with and run with it and learn from it? Is it we are always looking for that one thing that is going to make us rich, be first place in a sporting event, have the best material things in life, that when we die we can't take with us.

So at what point during what ever challenge you face, do you say, "hey I have this, I can deal with this and you know what I will be a stronger and wiser person for this!"

We all go through challenges in life that are life threatening, exciting challenges that make us happy, no matter what your challenge take it as the universe's way of teaching something you need to know or understand in your journey through life.

No matter what lies ahead of you on your journey, remember its your journey no one else's and only you can learn the lessons you need to in order to move forward.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend...

Hayley xx

Why do we do the things we do??

Sun Set over Busselton, we are being watched 

Its interesting where you will find your inspiration and confirmation on what you are doing. Finding the answers to your own questions. I sat listening to a podcast of my husbands which talks about fitness, diet, and mind set. The question, "Why do we do the things we do??" came to me while listening this podcast on the way to Busselton.

I looked at the way I could answer this, I could take it from me as an athlete, me as a mother, wife, employee, recovering from an eating disorder, and so many other ways. I guess for me at the moment it would be from the athlete perspective.

So why do I swim so much? Why do I love photography? Swimming has become my go to. I love the feeling of the water around me, I love the feeling of gliding through the water, whether it be in the pool or in the ocean. Being able to swim in the ocean and seeing the fish below you is so amazing and being part of nature in that way without disturbing it is so nice.

I have been asked more than once to why I swim, why do I want to do marathon swimming, why do I want to push my body to that extent. There is no one answer for all those questions. I have never been one to sit still, I have always been a busy minded person. I guess swimming has been my time to quieten my mind to a point. Not have someone constantly tell me what to do, or hear people arguing around me, time for me to go into myself, which is good but can be very scary. I used to think of ways to stay skinny, as I didn't want to eat and thought I was healthy then and really didn't know any different, where now its time for me to think about topics for my blog, designing my website, ideas for my book, even designing my t shirt that I want made for myself. I also think of training sessions that I need to do and even visualise the finish to the Rottnest Channel Swim. So I guess my mind is not all that quiet though a lot more positive.

The reason for marathon swimming I guess is a way of me understanding myself, on all levels. On the surface of myself physically. Can my body deal with swimming such long distances and does it hold up to what I can put it through. The mental level, of how do I cope with my body starting to hurt, or fatigue, can I work my way through the uncomfortable feelings, also the feeling of being stung by jellyfish over and over and still managing to keep going. Spirit level, the deepest part of me that just becomes hypnotized by the water, my surroundings, my thoughts. I almost become one with the water and my surroundings. I feel suspended in mid air while I am swimming,  the water holds me in place and I am able to almost fly through the water and when you see fish of all sizes below you its almost like being one of them.

If I take the line of recovering from an eating disorder. I have used the fact that I have had to gain 17 kilograms to do the Rottnest Channel Swim. It was a have to gain the weight, not think about gaining it. I have managed so far to gain 15 kilograms and feel so much healthier for doing it. I feel that I was so stupid when I used to think being skinny, and not eating was the best way to get faster, I was oh so wrong. I have come to see that just how important it is to have that extra muscle, and body weight on to achieve the distances I can do, live the life I do, and that is once I get up in the morning I keep going until I go to sleep at night. So for me I do my swim training in the morning, and then go to work by midday and work through to 8:30pm, then home and eat dinner and get some time out reading or catching up on the computer, then head for bed by 10:30pm. So my days are long and full.

If I was still trying to destruct my life with restricting my eating I would not be able to get through what I can now. Also I am more mentally aware of what happens with me and around me. I used to live my life in a lethargic fog, that had a persona of being a hyper-active child where I would run on adrenaline and sugar to keep me going, but would turn on a two cent piece into a bad or emotional mood.

Taking up photography has been a more tranquil side of myself I have recently found. I can drive or walk around and see everyday things that I see in such a different way. I drive past a large patch of national park and the change of seasons have changed the colours of the field. From being green its now yellow, and soon it will be brown from being dried out. Like each sunset, they can all be different. It just opens your eyes and heart to simple things being amazing.

No matter what you do or why you do it, as long as its positive keep going, if there are negative aspects maybe changes can be made for the better.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

Rest and Relaxation...

 Tomorrow hubby and I head down south to my favourite place on earth. Busselton, Its shall be a time of relaxing and eating, oh and wallowing in the spa at the resort.

I am very much looking forward to having my camera with me this time to take some better pictures of the sunsets and fingers crossed for dolphin sightings.

Its been a long week and one of recovery from last Saturday's swim, but a week of learning and understanding myself and just how far I have come. With having the right people around me while training, and making sure I am eating properly, and getting enough rest has been so important. As this week has been about resting, it will be time to start slowly looking to the next eleven weeks of training ready for Rottnest Channel Swim.

I hope everyone has a great weekend... rest well, play hard...

Hayley xx

City Beach 10km done!!

 Saturday 14th November 2015, at 5am I woke to the sound of my alarm, waking me and telling me its time to get up and organised to go. Its the day I take on City Beach again this time in the 10 kilometer swim. City Beach is a beach that can seem to be calm from the sands, but choppy once you get into the water. For us this time it wasn't just about the water conditions it was also about the heat, jellyfish and nutrition strategy.

I pick up my training partner and we head to the beach a 30 minute drive. Its fairly quiet in the car as I tend to become quiet. Going through things in my mind slowly and try not to let the nerves get to me so much. We drive into the car park and find a shady spot as we know it will be stinking hot when we get back to the car later that day. Registration, we get our names signed off and get our package which has in it, a race cap...a stunning pink, timing strap that goes around our ankle, information note. Then we find our paddler for the day, and awesome bloke that made the day a little bit more relaxing and funny.

 Its time to lather up, out of my bag comes...a tube of sun-cream (50+SPF), clear zinc, antihistamines, anti-chaff, vasoline, carb gel, and drink bottle. Now its start to get real, you know there is no turning back unless you get the tap from the safety crew on the water. I start by putting anti-chaff on, followed by sun-cream and then zinc, hoping it will be enough. Get a gel down with water and head for the safety briefing.

We take a seat on the sand in the shade as we wait for the 1.25 kilometer swimmers to take off. Then its our turn. I sit with my head of my knees with my eyes closed and compose myself ready for the biggest open water swim I have done to date. You never know just how bad the water conditions will be till you get in the water. We swim out to the starting buoys and people are already getting stung. I know then its going to be a long hard day in the water. The starters gun goes off and we are away, We were out to swim our own race, one that would allow us to finish within the time required and hope to hell we would make it.

By the second feed I asked our paddler how we were going, roughly averaging 48 - 50 minutes per 2.5km which was great, though I kind or knew the last lap would take its toll. We felt every sting from the jellyfish as if they were sharp needles piercing through our skin to our nerves. We got stung on the face, back, arms, neck, under the arms, legs...well our entire bodies really. Its hard to work out exactly how you are pacing along when you swim, but I was still hoping we wouldn't get that tap from the officials to say you won't make it.

We started the last lap and I knew this was going to be so hard. We turned the first turning buoys and got to our paddler who was talking with safety crew and I had a sudden sinking in my stomach, then as we were taking our last drink, we were told we were going to be fine and would have part of the safety crew guide us through to the next turning buoys which was great, it made me feel like I was that little bit stronger and would be able to get through the fatigue I was feeling so badly. We turned the last turning buoys and I could see that we now had safety crew on a jet ski with  us as we swam to the finish. I saw the last buoy that we needed before turning to shore and the finish line. The only things I had running through my mind was that I wanted this so much! I did not want to have to go through another morning like this again for a little while.

My training partner and I were the last in the water to make it in under the cut-off time of 4 hrs and 15 mins. I got that last wave into shore, stood up got my bearings and walked slowly out of the water with a little help from the safety crew as we got our balance back. I ran up the finishing chute and officially had a time of 4:07:18. We qualified!!!

 I stood on hot sand, trying to work out what I had just done and with a tv news camera pointing straight at us, I had to laugh. I looked like crap, felt so sore and felt so amazing. We were extremely well looked after by the safety crew and even interviewed for the news, which was just a little exciting.

So with so much that had happened I still don't think it has completely set in that I have swum, conquered some fears and mental games that were playing around the 7.5km mark of wanting to get out, but to know that we now have made it to swim the Rottnest Channel Swim on the 27th February 2016, is huge! Now its time to rest this week, and by rest I mean light easy swims to let the body keep turning over and make sure the muscles don't cease up. Its also time to de-brief the swim and workout what we need to change and try and do for the coming three months before Rotto.

Have an awesome week coming...

Hayley xx

Never Stop Dreaming....

 Today I became very aware that we should never stop dreaming, even if you have a particular dream and for some reason can never make that dream come true. We can always keep that dream in our hearts, but know that we won't have it for real.

I found out today I will never run again, a love that I can never do again. I have been told many times that I have my swimming and I am very lucky to have that. Though when you still have that ounce of hope that after a surgery that something will be fixed and you will be able in time, be able to lace up your runners and hit the pavement and feel that runners feeling again. Well its not going to happen for me. I have been told no matter which way my foot surgery goes I will not be running again.

So its fifteen weeks till surgery roughly and with so much happening between now and then. With just one day to do until our 10 kilometer qualifying swim, I haven't got the nervous feel yet, and I guess that could be a good thing. Though tomorrow I will be heading to the beach early just to take some time to check the conditions which will be very similar on Saturday morning (HOT!). I guess it will be a matter of just getting in, staying with the plan and just getting the job done.

After the 10 kilometer we take a week to recover with light swims and some well deserved rest. Then as our local pool opens on Monday we head for cold water training. Our local pool is very much known for being super cold. So we can simulate the feeling of swimming in cold water and acclimatise to it as well. Also with the run on to Christmas we tend to get busier at work, so between working full time and training time should go by pretty quickly.

Come January with work still going to be busy its time to get down to long swims and consistency in the pool and in the open water for training. These are the times when the long hours in the water over a week will add up and the mind and body need to be linked so tightly that both are in sync with each other and I can get through every session and know that the day I step to the start line of the Rottnest Channel Swim I can say to myself I have done everything possible to be here and to confident that I can do the 20 kilometers from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island. I will have time after to rest and relax and heal.

Have an awesome weekend when it comes. I know mine will be amazing no matter what happens.

Hayley xx

Embrace Life

Taper Week...

 Taper weeks for athletes of any level isn't their favorite. I find them a pain in the butt, though I understand why we have them. As we go through intense training sessions leading up to an event, the body and mind also need time to rest, hydrate, recover and be fresh for the event day.

We spend weeks working our bodies and minds in our chosen sport, and the day we line up at the start line we need to know within ourselves that we have done everything we could to be ready for what lies a head of us on that day.

I myself really don't like taper weeks, I get frustrated, anxious, quiet, and moody. I think a lot about the event I am tapering for and what I need to work on (organise), go through the gear I need to take with me, times to pick people up and get to the event location. So yeah, I send myself around the twist, as they say. As someone who finds it extremely hard to sit still and relax unless I am asleep that is, I am usually on the go, which isn't always good when tapering. I have to make sure I am eating properly through out the week, drinking plenty of water and taking in plenty of carbohydrates the couple of days leading into the event.

 The 10 kilometer qualifying swim this coming Saturday will be another milestone as well. I have a tendency to only look at this particular event and not look further, as I don't want to stress, or loose my focus on the requirements that are needed for this event. We have a time frame in order to get this swim done in, four hours and fifteen minutes. I know myself and my training partner are capable of getting it done somewhere between three hours, thirty minutes and four hours. Even if the water is rough, which I expect it to be, we will get it done. That makes this a week of visualising what I need to do for myself and with my training partner to hopefully make our estimated times.

My favourite movie, Finding Nemo, and the love I have for Dory, as much as she is a little ditsy, she can still swim and like her I am not one for liking stingers, but her motto of "Just Keep Swimming!" plays through my mind regularly when I get tired or stressed when I am in the water.

Tomorrow sees us doing a two kilometer light swim, rest on Tuesday, Wednesday is two and a half kilometers then Thursday and Friday rest, eating and drinking lots of water. Early to bed Friday and up nice and early on Saturday. Also time to put the final touches on the event plan and stick with it.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx