This Is Your Life...a spontaneous post...

I just saw this amazingly inspirational quote as I was looking through and saving others to my computer, for later use. This struck me like a bolt of lightening, it says so much, that I don't think there is really anymore I could say.

With each sunrise live your day to the fullest, with each sunset be grateful for everything you have gone through and learnt whether it was good or bad...each day is a new one,

Have an awesome week

Hayley xx

Week 4 and feeling stronger with each week...

Success, what does that mean to us?

For some it comes in the shape of success in your career, raising our children, and in sport. For me I try to feel a little bit of success each day. In my job, making sure my customers are happy, and in my running, swimming and strength training. I love the sense of reaching the small goals each day I set for myself. Whether its conquering a better pace per kilometer, or running to the top of a hill and to keep going without any walking. Swimming constantly, getting into a good groove and feel like there is no stress on my body and I am gliding through the water. After each strength session, I am a little sore, but knowing I am feeling stronger and more confident for the day.

This week has been all over the place with doing mainly double training sessions and with going back to running yesterday (Saturday) was awesome, even with it bucketing down with rain for most of the run, and I was still smiling for the camera.

parkrun in the rain, loving life!

My love for running comes from deep with in me and at times is just so hard to describe to people. I sometimes tell people that seven years ago I had a heart attack due to having salmonella poisoning and if I hadn't gone to the hospital when I did I would not be here today. We all go through different things in our lives that make us wake up and see what we could miss if we weren't to be here tomorrow. I guess this is also why I love inspirational sayings so much, the written word can reach such a deep part of your heart and help you to have a better day. 

What makes you feel like you can achieve anything? The compliments from family, friends, colleagues. Something that you read, see, hear, do? What ever it is take it in both hands, your heart, your soul and your mind, strive for that success you dream of. It doesn't have to be a podium finish in a race, or winning lotto (mind you they would both be great), it could be something simple like running continuously for 1 kilometer for the first time, swimming 100 meters and not drowning, getting a certain task done at work that has bothered you for a while. The small successes in your life all add up as does the big successes.

So with another week ahead its time to get back into running during the week, I have a swim session and strength session tomorrow, followed by a 10 kilometer run on Tuesday. Wednesday will be another double up swim and strength, Thursday will be a run, Friday back to a rest day, Saturday parkrun and Sunday will be a long run then into work. Hope for good sunny weather for the week which from what the forecasts are its looking good.

Have a great week everyone and I leave you with this....

Hayley xx

Journey to Boston...Midway through week 3

Still Dreaming....

After reading on Facebook today that nearly two thousand people didn't make it to Boston 2015, and that was with 30,000 places available. I still dream of doing the Boston Marathon in 2017, and if I don't make it in for that year I will continue to reach for my dream the following year. This puts everything into perspective of just how big a race this is, and just how many people around the world have the same dream.

As I am still recovering from my sore back, I went to my physiotherapist to have my back put back into place as it still didn't feel right, so with the sound of..."crunch" it was back where is should be and with great relief, then it was to the shins. Well they were sore to the touch, and with eight acupuncture needles (four down the shin of each leg) and a few twists and turns, they were feeling better, so fingers crossed when I get on the treadmill for my warm up tomorrow morning they should be feeling better.

Swimming this week has been great, getting back into the swim of things (sorry about the bad pun). Its great being in the water, for me being in the pool or ocean is just so very relaxing. Some people I speak to don't like the pool and find it very boring, I just love the feel of the water. I have days where I love doing dolphin kick, and when I get into the swing of it, I can do 25m without surfacing, and the feeling of coming up to the surface like a dolphin does, is just so awesome. 

This week at the gym, has renewed my spirit in my strength training.  Doing weights on Monday afternoon was totally awesome, I was on such an endorphin rush that I hadn't had for ages. It was like feeling every fiber in my arms, legs, abs and back being on fire. That heat you feel through your body when you know you have pushed enough without hurting yourself. The only thing you feel the next day is all the muscles you forgot you had. DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) got to love them. What I did find was, I felt ten times better after swimming on the second day after being to the gym. 

Rest days, this week I have had two rest days, Tuesday as I needed to go and see my dietitian and then straight to work, and today, as I will be going to the gym with my daughter in the morning and then to the pool. Tomorrow's session will be, upper body at the gym as I am back to running on Saturday, and the pool will be constant freestyle (front crawl) for an hour to see what sort of distance I get done.

Over this weekend (long weekend) its time to sit down and work out the small goals. These are the short races for running (between 5-15km) and swimming, open water swimming series. These are 2.5km swims and I will probably do a 5km race before I swim the Busselton Jetty Swim which is 3.6km in one of Western Australia's most beautiful locations.

So I say goodnight and leave you with this to ponder...

Till Sunday, Hayley xx

Boston Dream...Week 3 Up and Coming!

Don't Give Up...Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone!

How many of us have started something in our lives and when it got too hard we gave up and decided it wasn't going to happen? 

I have done this many a time, especially with my nutrition and over exercising. I hear you say over exercising?? Yep I used to spend almost all my spare time doing some form of exercise and doing what we call junk miles, where these extra miles/kilometers wouldn't be beneficial to training in any way and would push you to run the risk of injury.

So after this past week with a bad back I have really sat back and thought just how much I have manage to change for the better. I now listen to my body and make sure its ready for the pounding on the pavement, and if not find an alternative to allow that little bit of extra time for healing.

Week 3 is a week of taking it easy without going totally insane. So with spending a lot of time in the water swimming, deep water running and strength training and if the weather drys out there will be a bit of walking. There will be the hope of pounding the pavement next Saturday at parkrun to see how I am going. Sunday will be a morning of fitness with my daughter doing a Lorna Jane Exercise session and learning something new. We are never to old to learn new things.

Then if all is good at the end of this week, it will be time to be back on building the kilometers again and pound the pavement and hopefully the weather will be with me and start to get fine and sunny and enjoy what is supposed to Spring here in Western Australia, not Winter, which is what we have today.

I hope everyone has enjoyed their weekend and have an awesome week and I leave you with this thought to pond for the week ahead...

Hayley xx

An Early End to Week 2...

As my last post on Wednesday was a bit of a blah kind of day, yesterday turned into a day of pain.


As I have been out of running action from mid May till about 2 weeks ago, my body is feeling a few changes that are being made to my running form, and new training plan. So yesterday morning as I was getting dressed my lower back shot pain through my lower back and down my sciatic nerve. Well I can tell you, I was not happy. I spent a part of the morning stretching my lower back and trying to take the pressure away. I ended up taking pain relief and got a massage to help.

So my first thought was...bugger no running today, and then it was...oh crap no running for the rest of the week. So what does a girl do? she heads for the local pool this morning for a light swim session, a pleasant 1500m and some relief. Now normally I would be the type of person who would be the biggest grump if I couldn't run for any short period of time and take all my frustrations out of everyone around me. Well this time I have stayed focused on recovering the right way, with massage, pain relief, swimming and being careful.

So for the rest of the weekend this is how it will be...Saturday will be a swim, nothing huge, probably about 1500m, and pain relief if needed. Sunday I will go for a walk, about 5km and then breakfast with hubby and shopping in the late morning and afternoon with my daughter.

Week 3, I hope to be back to short runs and some strength training, and of course more swimming. I will be trying out my new Aqua Fitness Belt, so if I can't get back on the road next week I can run in the water, or even head for an anti-gravity training session, which is a special kind of treadmill. So with my dream of the Boston Marathon, my training continues and even with a little turn in my road there, we will be back on the straight very soon.

I have learnt that as I get older, my body will tell me that something isn't right, and its time to finally listen to it properly and make sure I take care of it, so that I can make my dreams come true.

So I say goodnight, and hope everyone has a great weekend, I leave you with this image...

Hayley :)

Journey to Boston...Mid week Blah!

Today has turned into a mid week blah!!! At the moment I am tired and sore, I did an awesome strength session on Monday afternoon,  DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) and I are not seeing eye to eye right at the moment.

I have just sorted out my 10km run for tomorrow morning which will include some undulating hills. I am hopeing with all my heart that my shins feel better than they do at the moment.

So as you can see I have put the above image here, as its not just what others say to us that can be negative its what we say to ourselves as well. I find usually when I am tired that my head is all go, and the body is like...yeah nah! I have learnt that there are negative thoughts that I have, that try to stop me from going out for my training session, and today was one of them, but my reasoning was that because I was sore, it would be best that I leave my next strength session till the weekend. I am ok with that, as my body felt like lead in the pool this morning. So here is hopeing that my run tomorrow morning is a better one than yesterday.

I am a firm believer in affirmations, and positive thoughts. I am also a very visual kind of person, so by having these images, as above keeps me focused on the job at hand, which for me is my training, and making sure I am eating right. I will say the road is never dead straight, there are always bumps and turns. It is our choice in how we deal with those bumps and turns. So this weeks bump, is sore shins, and with that the positive is I have time in the morning to get onto my trusty roller and relax the muscles in the legs and hope this helps my run, oh and there is coffee at the end of the run, which is always the best!

So with this I say goodnight and hope everyone has a great week and stay positive even when you hit the odd bump or turn in your road.

Hayley xx

Journey to Boston...Week 1 down, and so many more to come :)

I woke this morning at 6:15am questioning my run session for this morning, "Do I really want to get out of my warm bed a go for my run?"

Well after laying in bed for a few more minutes I could see the sun was very much up and it was calling me out to hit the beat! So by 6:55am I had started my run, the legs were still a little tight from yesterdays 5km parkrun. I took my time this morning and yes I even walked a bit, but I was getting to a point where my shins hurt more walking that running. So I powered on. Now just to fill in a gap, where I run near my house the area is very undulated with hills, not massive ones, but big enough.

So as today comes to an end, and week one is done, here is where I can give you some detail; Monday was a swim of approximately 1800m then a 30 minute strength session which included, squats, push-ups, crunches, sit-ups, calf raises, and sumo squats: Tuesday was run #1 with a 3.5km interval run: Wednesday I was back in the pool for another 1800m swim and a 30 minute strength session: Thursday was 4.4km tempo run; Friday was a rest day, which includes stretching and using my trusty roller to roll the calves, quads, and stretch my back: Saturday 5km parkrun: today a 9km long run.

I find that when I mention this to people they say, "You are crazy"...I always take it as compliment. I also work full time, and have my family to come home to. So my life is very full and I wouldn't change it for anything.

So tomorrow starts week 2, I have already planned all my sessions today, swimming distance will be upped to 2100m x 2 sessions per week, I have a new strength session to do which is oh my goodness going to be so hard, but totally up for the challenge and knowing it will help in the long run is awesome, and there are 2 of these sessions per week. Run Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday and I am upping the kilometers there as well, only by a little bit.

I look forward to my second week of training and new music to run to, always got to have awesome tunes.

Nutrition is such a big part and is still all on track, with dinner tomorrow night already organised in my head, with roast chicken and vegetables, and I can't wait for Tuesday night we are having pulled pork, everything so yummy. Lots of banana's as well, great potassium there and just a great snack, fruit for breaky and even some omelettes as well. Lunch usually a good salad with some protein, Plenty of water and sports drinks as well.

So till next time, I will leave you with this thought...

Hayley xx

Boston 2017...continued

An image that I look forward to being apart of in 2017

Well I am nearly a full week into the start of my journey to Boston Marathon. I have done 2 short runs so far this week, 2 strength sessions, 2 swim session and a rest day. I have 2 runs still do to, a 5km parkrun, and a long run (10km) on Sunday morning before I go to work.

For my eating disorder I am making sure I also stay focused on eating right for each training session and to refuel after all my training sessions, and to keep my weight at a steady level.

As much as my run sessions this week have not been easy even though they have been short, my focus is to ease back, and also I am having to re-adjust my running technique to stop a re-occurrence of sesamoiditis returning, which was one reason I was not running for the last 3 months.

Running for me is time to be in the outdoors enjoying the weather, whether it be raining, humid, hot or just right. It allows me to switch off from my everyday matters and be me, happy, pounding the pavement and listening to my music and seeing just how my body is doing. What I love the most is the endorphin rush I get for the rest of the day and the smile that doesn't leave me for the day. The memory of that run, analyzing my run on Strava. Sharing my experience with my other running friends on Facebook.

Do I have times where I would rather be in bed relaxing, instead of being outside on a rainy, cold day?...Yes I do, but then I have a not so good day, I am not as happy as I could be and I kick myself and annoy myself about not doing the run.

I have also come to learn that I prefer to run on my own, except for parkrun. This an awesome 5km timed, free run every Saturday morning at 8am (here in Perth). I started doing parkrun about 18 months ago, and got hooked very quickly. The atmosphere is amazing with so many others doing the same 5km and trying to beat their personal best time. The laughs after the run, the hi-5's during the run, is just awesome. If you have a parkrun in your neighborhood I would suggest give it a go, you won't regret it and you too will be hooked :)

So for me for the next 2 days is parkrun and a long run, which for this week is only going to be 10km as I do need to go to work, but my runs are in the hills of Perth. Its at this point that I start planning next weeks runs, where I am going to do them. Next Tuesday I have planned a 10km run out by the ocean, and depending on the weather can be calm and super awesome, or it could be windy and a lot harder, but still awesome.

I have just been given a new strength training session, and all I am going to say is...it will be oh so hard, but I am up for the challenge as I know it will help me on my journey to building strength, and help with my running and help when I get to the Boston Marathon.

So until next we chat, have a great night/day and I leave this with you...

 
Hayley xx

How Music has helped in Recovery...

The words of our favourite songs have such meaning to each one of us. For me it has always been power ballads that get me, that pull my heart strings, that draw the tears, bring the smile from under the tears.

I remember the song I played over and over when I heard the news my grandfather wasn't going to survive the multiple strokes he had had, and at that time I was in another state and was wanting so badly to get home to his bed side to say my goodbyes. I was lucky that week, he held on till I got home a few days later to say goodbye, the song I listened to for days was by Ronan Keating "In This Life", I was loosing someone who so dear to me, and even as I play this song right now it brings me to tears remembering my grandfather and what he meant to me.

In my teens I would spend most of my time after school in my room with my music on and looking like I was studying. I would sit at my desk and dream of ways to leave home as I was so very unhappy. I would play my music loud so I didn't have to hear conversations between my parents and the fights they would have. Music at that time in my life was my escape.

I have songs that have such deep meaning to me, like the song I walked down the isle to, to marry my husband, songs that would make me feel happy, songs that remind me of people in my life, life experiences and so much more.

While I have been dealing with my recovery from my eating disorder I found a song that resonated so deeply with me on so many different levels. I first heard it from a link on Facebook, I saw the clip for the song "Skyscrapper" which was sung by Sam Bailey, the original was done by Demi Lovato, below is the chorus to "Skyscrapper":

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

The whole song I sing as loud as I can when I feel the eating disorder starting to yell in my head and trying to get my attention again. I am rising from the ground that the eating disorder had me on, to the sky where I can spread my wings of healthiness.

This song also got me through many a day over the last 12-14 months as I decided to put an end to my relationship with certain people in my life that was the hardest thing I have done, and even to today I feel that was the right decision for myself and my recovery.

The days I would go and visit my grandmother knowing at any time she wouldn't be with me again, except in my heart, I would put my headphones on and put this up loud and sing, I didn't care if anyone in cars around me heard me, it was my way to dealing with all the emotion that was cascading through my heart, mind and soul at the time.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't listen to my favourite songs, and there are many a day that I let my tears run, and memories shine.

Till next time enjoy the music that moves you.

My Journey to Boston Marathon 2017

Hello again...

This past weekend I have been in Melbourne at the Australian Runners Convention. It was amazing to listen to so many people talk about running, how they have become involved in the sport and the different distances they do, from those who do fun runs, to the ultra-marathon and everything in the middle. Listening to the psychology of the mind with running and how to use your mind to the best you can when you hit the walls.

I have been injured for the past 4 months and not being able to run, which at times has been the hardest thing to deal with, especially from the aspect of recovering from an eating disorder. I was always exercising to keep my weight down and keep an exceptionally flat stomach, as I thought that was the way I was supposed to look. Going to Melbourne this weekend has rejuvenated me to get back into my running and not just for my dream of going to Boston in 2017 to do the Boston Marathon, but also raising awareness to eating disorders and the Butterfly Foundation who support those who have eating disorders. I have a drive to help others, and to be as healthy as I can in my training and life for myself, my family and others.

I had a dream a few years ago of completing an Ironman 70.3 triathlon, which I did in May this year. Though I didn't do it as well as I should have, as I thought I was on a solid road to recovery, but have since realised I was feeding my eating disorder in the sense that I wasn't eating enough to maintain good quality training. Yes I got through the triathlon and was happy with what I accomplished on the day. I have since sat back and realised that I was kidding myself, and now understand myself a lot more and understand what it really means to be on a solid road to recovery and being happy with gaining weight, and living with such a clear mind, that has such drive to do well, and to be well. I have a fire in my belly that wants to reach such an awesome goal and really feel that I can be a role model for other girls/women in reaching their goals and dreams in life, and being healthy is just so very important.

So as of tomorrow I put into action my new training program, and the understanding that by eating healthy and clean I will give myself the best possible chance of reaching my dream of doing the Boston Marathon.

So I say goodnight, and hope you dream great dreams and that you can make your dreams come true as well  :)

Road to Recovery 2 September 2014

Hello...

Today starts a dream come true, No Wafer Here is a blog about my recovery from my eating disorder, fitness, and healthy living. I hope that I can help other people out there on a road to healthy living whether they have an eating disorder or disordered eating. Being healthy is what life is about, without our healthy we have very little.

As a 40 something mum of two, who has lived with an eating disorder for the last 30 odd years. I am for the first time in my life on the road to recovery from my eating disorder. Finally living a healthy and happier life. Learning lessons about life everyday.

I came to the realization that I had an eating disorder only 2 years ago. Before then I thought eating one meal a day was normal, and living on sugar and processed foods was being healthy. I thought that being 44kg was a healthy weight, and that I could live like this for ever. I have always been active either with walking, playing sport, doing karate, and endurance sports such as triathlon, long distance open water swimming, and my love for running.

I took myself off to see a dietitian, who I can say is totally awesome. I remember the first appointment. I am sitting in her office a room of cream walls, high ceilings and minimal furniture. We started by discussing why I was there to see her, my response was, "I need to gain some weight to allow me to do triathlon."
She says to me, "Do you think you have an eating disorder?" Yep my immediate reaction was "NO!" We discussed further my issues with food, and why I didn't eat much and why I exercised everyday. I walked out of her office that day still believing that I didn't have an eating disorder, and with another appointment made for the following week.

My second appointment with my dietitian was not much different from the first, we started with discussing the previous week, and yes I was asked this...
"Do you think you have an eating disorder?"
My response this time was a little different from the week before, "I think I do." We discussed why this might have happened and at what age I thought it started. I worked it back to when I was about 11 years old or even a bit younger when I stopped eating lunch at school. There was also the big one...CONTROL...

Control is a huge thing with people who have an eating disorder, we like to have total control of our lives, even from such a young age. The reasons are many, and believe me some don't make any sense at all especially at such a young age. The need to be skinny, the need to be like your friends, the need to be cool and be accepted by every one of your peers. Dealing with emotional issues at home. I think at a young age its even a matter of dealing with life. Once I hit high school things progressed rapidly, I was living on sugar and highly processed carbohydrates. This is what kept me going, and looking at it today I wonder how I even got through school at all. Its amazing to how the mind can keep you going.

Well back to the subject of Control, high school is a place where everyone needs to control something, whether its the leader of their peer group, being the best at sport, or being an academic. You are forever trying to prove yourself, either to your parents, family, teachers and peers. Oh and then there is society...this is a huge bug-bear of mine. You have to be thin to get the guys attention, you have to be pretty, you have to be smart, but not as smart as the guys...oh did I say you have to be thin to get anywhere in life???

So for me being in high school was to be thin, have a vibrant personality, and believe me people knew of me at school and even after I left school. I wanted to be liked by everyone, as I didn't feel liked at home.

Now back to my second appointment with my dietitian, we started to discuss my eating disorder and my need to constantly exercise. It took many more appointments to make in-roads to understanding what my eating disorder was doing to me and how deep it went. In further posts I will take you through aspects of my eating disorder, and the stop, starts to recovery.

Today I can truly say I am on the straight road of recovery. I have gained weight, taken steps to reduce my exercise level, and learn to live life in a healthy way, not in an irrational, self destructive way.

Till next time, have a great day :)