Working through out Fears....

 Not even 6 months ago I was scared to take on the Rottnest Channel Swim. What changed my mind? I needed to find a new challenge as I was unable to continue with Triathlon. I found a dvd called Driven and brought it. I watched the dvd which was enough for me to rethink my fears of why I didn't want to do this event originally. I was scared of the amount of jelly-fish and the ships (Cargo) that go through Gage Roads. I didn't worry about the thought of sharks, but jellyfish and big ships were the issues. So I sat and thought to how come these things are such an issue? Was it just irrational fear?

So after a little bit of thinking I managed to work my way through my irrational fears of jellyfish stings (I am allergic to them) by making sure I completely cover myself in sun-cream before each swim and knowing that I will have more than sun-cream on when I do the Rottnest Swim. In regards to the ships, well it will be in the hands of my paddler and support crew to get me through Gage Roads.

How do we deal with our own fears? Well that is up to ourselves as individuals, some people will live with their fears and never over come them, others will work their way around their fears and others will barrel right through their fears.

I think I have always been one to barrel through my fears, and work out the practical and logical way to deal with them, and get on with things.

I understand why we are afraid of things happening, or not happening, but what is it that keeps us there in the middle of our fears? Is it the unknown, or is it the possibility of success, and being fearful of what that might bring for us?

I want to dip deep within myself and beat my fears of jellyfish and massive cargo ships, and swim 19.7km across the Rottnest Channel next year and see that I have what it takes to swim that distance and reach the finish line and say...Yes I did it, I conquered my fears and enjoy the moment of the start, swim and finish and sharing that with my family and best friends.

I truly believe we can find within ourselves the courage and determination to barrel through our own fears to get to the other side  and get through our fears, and see what life has install for us, and we might just be luck enough to have our lives be filled so many positive things.

With each open water swim I do, each Sunday I build distance and deal with being stung by jellyfish, which do hurt when they get you, but I don't have any long lasting issues, as I am covered in sun-cream with each swim I do, so I am left with little welts, but they don't hurt. As for the Ships, that fear won't be fully over come until the day of the 2016 Rottnest Channel Swim, but I am excited and eager to get in the water and push my body and mind to a new level.

I hope that people can find ways to barrel through their fears and find that they build courage and confidence to reach what ever goals and dreams we have.

Have a great week...
Hayley xx

365 Days...Journey begins...

 This morning starts the 365 day count down to the Rottnest Channel Swim 2016. I sat at Cottesloe Beach today at 5am while still dark watching everyone get ready for the start to Rottnest Channel Swim 2015. My goal is to swim the 19.7 kilometer swim solo as my first attempt. I have been training over the last few months with this target in mind. So with each week my mileage continues to rise and my pace is getting better. My mental strength is growing stronger with each time I get in the water and in the gym.

As we are more than half way through our Summer here, I have been thinking of doing some open water swimming in Winter and not just maintaining my swimming in the pool during this time. I have a wet suit that I would use, my only concern is the water temperature and wave conditions. I guess the best way to deal with this is to keep an eye on the weather and use the better conditions that are there, without putting myself at risk.

 So between now and early November I need to build to 10 kilometers and try to keep my pace steady and within the cut-off time of 4:15. At present I am around the 3:50 - 4hrs. So with steady training and strength training I can only get better.

So with this time I also need to focus on my diet and make sure I am getting the necessary calories to maintain my current training and also to add weight. This is also where a fine balance of training eating and rest comes into play and not over training to cause injury.

At least now I can managed a number of rest days without flipping out, which is good, as some time back I would be loosing the plot after just one day. Its interesting to see just how much you learn from your previous mistakes and bad habits.

Over the coming months my diet will be higher in protein and more balanced with carbs and fats. I know that if I have too many carbs I loose weight as I turn carbs into sugar and burn off very quickly. So by having a higher protein based diet I managed to keep the weight on and keep my muscles in good recovery. As for fats I keep that area of my diet as stable as possible, as I am have hereditary high cholesterol, so I usually only have healthy fats.

So here goes an awesome 12 months of an amazing personal journey to seeing just how I manage and complete the 2016 Rottnest Channel Swim...

Hayley xx

Common Sense...Part 2...

Feeling a bit frustrated at the moment. Since my last post about Common Sense, it seems more and more that we are looking for an artificial, quick fix, and easiest way to drop weight in our society and the need to be skinny is just as rampant, but so too is our obesity levels in the western world.

I like to sit and read nutritional studies that have been done and the results online, where today I was reading one on Combination phentermine and topiramate for weight maintenance: the first Australian experience (www.mja.com.au). An interesting issue of prescribing medication and giving patients VLED (Very Low Energy Diet). As you read the article the number of patients that ceased the medication due to adverse side effects was interesting, and yet those that managed to continue and looking at the results at the end where initial weight was lost, but after an amount of time that weight was regained.

I understand that for those who are morbidly obese there needs to be something drastic done in order to start the weight drop, but if we could get down to the bottom of why people become so obese, or even looking at the other end of the spectrum of weight to those who are dangerously thin. How do we put into action the psychology, diet, exercise into place for society to see that these are the changes that need to be made, and not relying on the medical field to find the answers with drugs and surgery.

What is phentermine?
Phentermine is a stimulant similar to an amphetamine. It acts as an appetite suppressant by affecting the central nervous system.
Phentermine is used together with diet and exercise to treat obesity (overweight) in people with risk factors such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes.
Important information
Do not use phentermine if you are pregnant or breast-feeding a baby.
You should not take phentermine if you have a history of heart disease (coronary artery disease, heart rhythm problems, congestive heart failure, stroke), severe or uncontrolled high blood pressure, overactive thyroid, glaucoma, a history of pulmonary hypertension, if you are in an agitated state, or if you have a history of drug or alcohol abuse. (Drugs.com)

Topiramate is used alone or with other medications to treat certain types of seizures including primary generalized tonic-clonic seizures (formerly known as a grand mal seizure; seizure that involves the entire body) and partial onset seizures (seizures that involve only one part of the brain). Topiramate is also used with other medications to control seizures in people who have Lennox-Gastaut syndrome (a disorder that causes seizures and developmental delays). Topiramate is also used to prevent migraine headaches but not to relieve the pain of migraine headaches when they occur. Topiramate is in a class of medications called anticonvulsants. It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain. (Medline Plus)

So why is it we are coming to the point of mixing drugs that are used for other illnesses to try and combat obesity and reduce weight. Why can't we go to the basics where the proportions we eat, the exercise we get has more of a positive outcome than popping pills. We spend so much money on medications and quick fixes for weight loss, and I have heard excuses from people saying it costs too much for healthy food, than junk food, but the way westerners are going we will be paying billions of dollars to pharmaceutical companies to give us pills to be healthy, and loose weight,  when really all it could take is healthy eating and moving our bodies daily to bring weight down, building strong muscles, bones and organs.

Surgery is also an option for morbidly obese people, which in situations can help, though I still believe that psychological counselling is a must before and after. For someone who has always eating large amounts of food, and then to go to eating no more than a palmful size of food, is a massive change and one that needs to be dealt with on many levels. It would be no different from girls with anorexia being tube fed to be kept alive, and not having these girls go through psychological treatment for their issues wouldn't allow these girls to change and become healthier, and believe me not everyone makes it through on both sides of the weight scale.

In order for me to understand why I was sacrificing so much of my life by not eating and over exercising I spent many a time in my psychologists office talking, and time at home thinking and writing, till one day when it all came to the surface to why I was like I was...yes I made the necessary changes in my life, which meant cutting off relationships to immediate family members in order for me to start living a healthier life of gaining weight. I guess I am wanting others to see that there are reasons for why we do things and the way we treat our bodies. I believe we need to look at weight loss and gain on such a psychological level as well as diet, and exercise, if we learn about the reasons why we do things, it should help in the way we treat it.

Have a great day/night

Hayley xx

Where has all the Common Sense Gone????

 While sitting at my favourite coffee shop today having lunch I was reading one of my favourite fitness magazines from the States. I was reading an interesting article on artificial sweeteners. I have always been against artificial sweeteners as they are chemicals.

The article I was reading was discussing the points of whether artificial sweeteners had a positive or negative effect on weight loss. I have family members whom use these tiny little tablets/sachets of artificial sweetener in their coffee, tea, soft (soda) drinks that are sugar free (filled with artificial sweetener), also in fat free foods. I really don't understand why people can think and believe that by having this sweetener alternative would actually be better for you than natural sugars, honey or agave. You are putting chemicals into your body that it doesn't recognize. Ok lets take a look, at some common sense here: it is not sugar alone that puts weight on and causes heart disease, or high blood pressure, diabetes, its a number of lifestyle factors that do.

 A sedentary lifestyle, eating to much (proportion size), eating to much processed foods, that are high in sugars and processed carbohydrates, high fats (saturated fats). Emotional eating, Eating at the wrong times, senseless eating...

Ok, back to the artificial sweeteners, they have no calories, but what are you really putting into your body? Our senses;  see, touch, taste, smell, hear, have connections to our brain, we see the image of something sweet, our taste buds taste something sweet, but our gut doesn't get the "sugar" it gets "chemicals", the natural reaction from our body isn't going to happen as it should, if you actually put natural sugar into your body.

One of the best known artificial sweeteners...

Aspartame is an intense sweetener used to replace sugar in foods and drinks. In Australia and New Zealand aspartame is permitted at specified levels as an intense sweetener in a range of foods.

Aspartame is made up of three chemicals: aspartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol. (Mercola.com)

Sugars are carbohydrates. Like all carbohydrates, they provide a source of energy in our diet. Sugar is a term that includes all sweet carbohydrates, although the term most often is used to describe sucrose or table sugar, a ‘double sugar’. The body breaks down carbohydrates into simple sugars such as glucose, that can be readily used in the body. (Better Health Channel)

So lets take a look at the above and what does common sense tell us?? For me I am not going to put chemicals in my body on purpose for the need of sweetness in my food and drink. I would prefer the enjoy the real sweetness of sugar (sugar cane, honey, agave, natural sugars) and in moderation, than to much chemical based sugars. We are supposed to have enough common sense to eat responsibly and in moderation, but why do we around the world have issues with obesity, eating disorders and famine, and so much more.

So where do we fall down in the world of common sense? we are supposed to have this growing up and learning about life, then when we get to being adults we have a tendency to throw it out the window when it suits us. The world is about making money, so even in the world of fitness and health its about loosing weight, being fit, getting the result you want fast, take the supplements, go on the diet, get the best and latest...

I am all about doing it properly. I have had to learn the hard way about being skinny, about being sick, about nearly dying. I have had to learn that there is no quick fix, there is no magic pill, there is no magic wand that is going to give you the body we want, even if you did get it I bet you would find something that you wouldn't be happy with. So lets get back to the world that is full of common sense and see things for what they are, and how we can change our own lives for the better. Being healthy and not looking to be skinny. Eating in moderation and not over or under eating for our mind, body and spirit need to be fed to live. Lets get off he roller coaster of technology and slow our lives down just a little to be able to enjoy what is around us, fresh air, the ocean, the hills, flowers, children, family, friends, travel, life, happiness...leave the stress of the world and what is expected from it all behind just for a while to recharge yourself and see that yes you can be who you want to be.

Have a great week...
Hayley xx

All We Have Is Now!

 Over the last few months I have come to realise that I wish I had known self belief a long time ago. When we truly believe deeply that we can do anything the Universe turns to match and make our belief's come to fruition. We are all capable of doing so much, whether its sport, a particular career, travelling, what ever your dreams are. I know I have spoken about self belief lately, it has really come to the surface for me over the past few weeks. With regards to my swimming, and helping others as well, and helping myself on many other levels.

I think growing up in the world today is so more difficult than it was 20 years ago, with so much more technology and competition for jobs, schools, your own place in the universe, that is can be very difficult to know who you are as a person or even where you fit in to everything around you.

For a long time in my life I did't think I was worth much, or important unless I was something more than I was. I thought having my own business would be what truly made me happy, but no that wasn't it. I didn't feel content being just a mum and wife, to the point of deep dark depression, well we also know that dealing with an eating disorder and medical condition that pushed me to the brink of the deepest darkest hole. I am truly thankful that I have managed to haul myself out of that hole that some don't return from. I can see from my experiences that my life is so much better, happier, healthier and amazing. Each day lately has been filled with moments of clarity, fun, excitement, wonder, amazement and so much more. Even the littlest things have given me such an emotional lift that I couldn't be happier if I tried.

I have been reading the book, "The Secret" over the last couple of months, in amongst  my studies, work and swimming training. Its a great book to lay in bed and read before heading off into a world of slumber. Now I know the book isn't for everyone, but when you feel like you have been given this for a reason, you seem to just need to follow the path it lays before you.

I have found that I am enjoying my swimming so much more for myself and not for competition against others. I have found an avenue I wish to follow with my study and helping others. I am constantly being surprised by what the universe lays before me to take a hold of and run with and build on.

Taking each day for what it is and what it can offer is so exciting.

Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy the now!

Hayley xx

Life Experiences are Lessons in Life...

 The Universe has a great way of showing us our path in life, it might come in small exerts, like in a book, where you see parts but not all of it.

Today I had that happen when talking to a someone about what I would like to do with my life experience and personal training qualifications. I want to help others who are dealing with their own eating disorder demons, from those who have anorexia, bulimia, and to the other end of the spectrum of over eating. I would like to put a program together for schools, as I believe that is really a starting point for young people when it comes to dealing with body image.

I look back on my time in high school and the torment that went on in so many different areas, of body image, and levels of experience with boys and so many other areas of teenage life. I found it difficult as I was wanting to be part of the "in" crowd, but really didn't fit into that area. Its interesting how later in life when you go to school reunions and the ones you see that were part of the "in" crowd recognise you and by name as well, so I guess you can still be a someone who stands out just in a different way.

As much as school was part of my eating disorder issues so were things at home, and my own way of dealing with my circumstances. Even as an adult with anorexia and dealing with being ill from coeliac disease, to needing to have so much control over my life that even included the amount of exercise I was doing and the way I ate, or didn't eat, the way I looked, and thinking I could run faster with less weight, when really I was hurting myself so much and do deeply. I was also hurting my husband and kids as well in the process of my eating disorder. I remember going to see a GP about some issues I had, and before leaving his office asked what would be the best way to gain weight as I was becoming involved in doing triathlon. I was told not to worry as he thought I had good muscle tone, and it didn't go any further than that.

So I continued on my merry way, with only eating a little bit each day and exercising up to twice a day, and throwing in "junk miles" on my days off of work to keep the happy endorphin's going to keep me feeling good about myself. Endorphin's became my drug of choice, so to speak, that high feeling that came naturally from swimming and running, I kind of got it from cycling, more at then end of a ride than during it, especially the long rides that hurt. Running was my go to exercise where I could put my music on and just go and pound the pavement, sweat and feel great. I could pump out 10 kilometers and feel awesome for the rest of the day, though I would come back home and drink heaps of water and sports drinks, but wouldn't refuel properly. Then I would go to work and really be to tired to eat much for dinner. Which then became a crazy cycle day in day out.

I was hooked on triathlon and the fun I got from different training sessions, but as I progressed through, I was finding I needed to see a dietitian to get some information on eating for this endurance sport. I remember the first visit to see Dr Mary Slater (Nourish, Nutrition, Health and Fitness). I was a little excited, yet nervous at the same time. I was looking for information on the best diet to have for endurance sports. Well I was asked a very particular question by Dr Slater during this first session..."did I think I had an eating disorder?" I automatically said "no", I was then asked to think about this and the information I was given at that appointment. I went back a week later for my second appointment with Dr Slater and was asked the same question as last time..."did I think I had an eating disorder?" This time I said, "yes". What had made me realise that I wasn't right? I sat and thought about my life for that week and drew up and diagram with boxes and words and what things meant to me. I used this tool for a long time during my time with Dr Slater and also my psychologist, I could put my thoughts into perspective and the day I realised why I had an eating disorder was the turning point to a healthy life and leaving my eating disorder. Yes I had to make some drastic changes that some people didn't like or understand, but for my health and mental state it had to be done.

Since making the positive changes to my life, I have managed to gain 8 kilograms over 2 years, which for me is amazing, and there is more to gain, and with great support from family and friends I will continue to live a very healthy life and hopefully get the chance to help or even prevent other girls going through what I did for nearly 30 years.

We all go through different things in our lives that we can use to help others to heal or see that they to  can come out the other side and live productive and amazing lives. Its a matter of making choices and following your heart and not what others think is best for us, we need to know in our hearts that we are worth so much.

Have a great day.

Hayley xx

, 

Self Belief....

Believing in yourself isn't the easiest thing to do, we tend to doubt ourselves, more than believe.

Over the last few months I have come to understand myself better. This time two years ago, I was over exercising, under eating and thought I was happy, when I was in the worst place in my life. Being ruled by an eating disorder and drive to be thin and still run, swim and cycle each day and living on junk food to fuel my body.

Today I am the healthiest I can be physically and mentally. I have learnt hard lessons on the importance of believing in myself and not having to find acceptance in anyone else. I have learnt that I don't have to push my body to the ends of the earth in order to reach my goals. I am honest with myself when I want to reach certain goals and work out the best and healthiest way to get to these goals and dreams.

At my lowest weight I was 38kg, with being sick with Coeliacs Disease and and eating disorder. Today I am a healthy 53.5kg and gaining. I have the goal to swim 20km open water (Rottnest Channel Swim) in just over 12 months, in order to be in peak condition to swim this distance and also qualify I need to be weighing in at 60kg. I have never been this weight without being pregnant. So for me this is a big thing. I am trying to gain the weight slowly so I don't become overwhelmed by it. I am under the supervision of a dietitian as I need her advice, I am taking a weight gainer which is 1000 calories per serve. I am also eating 3 meals a day and trying to put in snacks as well. I am supposed to be eating high protein meals. The idea is to gain good solid muscle mass and also a little body fat.

Since stopping my triathlon training and just focusing on my swimming and strength training I feel more relaxed with myself and more comfortable with what I am capable of doing and accomplishing. I am glad that I did the Busselton 70.3 Triathlon last year, though I am also very glad that I have found the love of swimming and being able to put my time and focus into one discipline, while I also stay on the road to recovery of my eating disorder. I am reminded to not over train, take things slowly....I am doing that, I have never taken things in my life as slowly as I do now. I try to make sure I have a day to recover during the week, and pace my training in the pool and in the gym.

It takes hard work and discipline to stay on top of my eating disorder each and every day, it also takes drive and determination to strive and reach my dreams and goals.

I hope that one day I will be able to help other girls that are battling eating disorders and are ready to take the road to recovery and understand that being skinny isn't healthy and that being healthy and having good muscle tone and some weight on is better.

So as it is my rest day today, it is time for me to get some well needed sleep, so I am ready for another swim session tomorrow morning.

Have a great day...believe in yourself and see just how far you can go....

Hayley xx

Busselton Jetty Swim 2015...

This is the famous Bussleton Jetty, to the right of this picture is the start line and to the left is the finish. I have walked the Jetty many times, but today was the first time I had swum around the Jetty. My Garmin says it was a total of 3.827 kilometers, it is advertised as 3.6 kilometers. The swell does tend to move you around a bit, especially today as we had easterly winds and going out was tough. Coming in was a little easier. I have to say it would be one of the best organised events I have attended. I would love to do it each year from now on.

I had a time set of one and a half hours maximum,  and unofficially managed to do it in one hour and twenty three minutes. I was hoping that if the water had been calmer that I would have done it in one hour and ten minutes.

Where to from here?...I get back in the water tomorrow morning at my local pool for a gentle recovery swim and then back to squad training tomorrow night. Tuesday will see me return to the gym and continue to build strength ready for longer distances in the pool. Wednesday sees me doing an endurance swim of approximately 3km in the pool, depending on how the arms and body are feeling. Thursday and Friday will both be rest days and I am expecting to have a cortisone injection into my foot, which will require a couple of days rest.

This is the start of the Rottnest Channel Swim, this photo was taken last year, and I look forward to my turn standing on the start line in 2016

The photo to the right is the finish line of the Rottnest Channel Swim in which I hope to cross with in 7 - 8 hours in 2016...

It all comes down to now training for my qualifying race in November this year, 10km open water swim to be done in 4hrs 15mins or less. At the moment I am well on track to make it.


Have a great week everyone

Hayley xx

Mental Training....

In swimming there are days when your training session is about mental strength, for instance today was one of those kind of sessions, where you are in the pool and you are following the black line up and down for an hour, and you are not allowed to stop. Normally I would put my iPod on and let the music take my mind to another place, but this morning I decided to just push through and use visualization techniques to help me get through this session. Its easy to get into the rhythm with your stroke and breathing, but its the mind that likes to play the games.

So here is what was going through my mind in today's swim...catch up and over take training partner as he started in the water before me, keep to a steady pace and keep breathing calm. Neat and fluid tumble turns. Shoulder is tight...no all ok now, keep going...Rottnest swim keep this pace and you will be there before you know it...10km swim one or two stops at food station...one is should be enough...ok keep elbows high, calm the breathing, and maintain pace, don't let him pass you....

As you can see so much can go through your mind in such a short space of time. I am finding there is no negative things that run through my head these days compared to late last year when I would over think an event.

As it is now just days away from doing my first Busselton Jetty Swim, I am excited and ready to take on another new event for me. The Jetty Swim has been going for years, and as part of my training for Rottnest Channel swim this 3.6km jetty swim will be another great event to participate in.

On the nutritional side of my training, I have had to step up the calorie intake so I can gain another 8 kilos, as well as do my swimming training and weight training. I started taking a weight gainer supplement which is good, as it is one of the best on the market, and as my dietitian said to me yesterday that by taking this and also adding extra calorie dense foods as well for snacks during the day it will all work out. The gain of weight is to make sure that I have good energy levels which will help as I go through my gym sessions and build strength, and to reduce the risk of hypothermia when swimming long open water distances.

As someone who has had an eating disorder and felt very uncomfortable with weight on, this is definitely the most positive I have ever been about weight gain. I know I need the extra weight on, and doing it in a very healthy way and being supervised by my dietitian during this time. Two years ago I would never have thought I would be 52 kg, which is what I am at the moment, let a lone being 60kg ever. The only time I have been close or over 60kg was when I was pregnant with my kids. I am finally in the best frame of mind for this kind of weight gain and maintaining it.

Have an awesome week and may you float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...

Hayley xx

Summer Rains...

Today has been totally awesome, I had a nice relaxed swim session this morning to keep the body moving as it was a little tight and sore when I got up. Then headed to my favourite coffee shop for the best coffee around. A physio session followed which was nice to have tight muscles relaxed. Then out to Swimming World to have a look and pick up some items (new bathers and a waterproof heart rate monitor), which I look forward to trying out on Wednesday's swim session. I then headed out to my favourite place in the world...Cottesloe Beach. The photo below taken today was to the north, where a beautiful storm was building. I sat at a lovely restaurant called The Blue Duck, where I sat out on the deck over looking the beautiful Indian Ocean. Lunch was amazing, beef ribs that were so tender and melt in your mouth, and chips with sour cream. I don't this very often, but just felt like spoiling myself just a little today and the view was exceptional.

After lunch I headed back to my favourite triathlon shop to pick up some new goggles and some gels ready for next weekend. As I headed to the freeway (Polly Farmer Freeway) the sky opened up and down came the rain, with the lightening and thunder. I was amazing, even though it can be dangerous driving in these conditions, but I was loving every minute of it. In Perth we have had some really hot and humid days and it was lovely to have a heavy down pour of rain to cool things off a bit and water the gardens. The only issue is that once the sun comes out again it becomes humid again.

The photo to the right was taken at the same place as the above photo, but heading South, so you can see the difference between directions. Its amazing to see.

Its interesting to see just how different the ocean is each day. Saturday was amazingly calm when I did the swim through, then yesterday was choppy due to the easterly winds, and then today was amazingly calm again before the storm.

This is also the starting point for the Perth To Rottnest Channel swim which for this year is on the 21st Feb.

Have a great week everyone...

Hayley xx