2015...

The year is 2015, what did you do different to all the years before? Let's take a little step in time, its the 31st December 2015 you are looking back on the year that was 2015, what was it like, did you reach your goals? did anything truly amazing happen? did you do new things that made you happy? Now lets step back to today...

What does your heart truly wish for, for 2015? Write your dreams, goals and aspirations on sticky notes and put them around your house, office or where ever you are the most and use these as your reminder of what you wish 2015 to be.

Be brave and take your first step today which just might change the rest of your life.





My first step for today was going to be a 5km swim at one of my favourite pools, but due to unforeseen circumstances it was closed, so I either had the choice to go to another pool, one that I don't particularly like or head for the gym, I headed back home got my gym gear and off I went, now feeling better for doing a session.

Find your inner determination to start your journey through 2015, and no matter what road blocks come up, work your way around them and keep on going.

Happy New Year to everyone...

Hayley xx

Getting back on track....

The wake up call for not eating chocolate coated honeycomb. I should have known that the reactions I was having yesterday weren't good, that tired feeling I get when I am eating something that I shouldn't. Then 1am the stomach started and well, we don't need to explain the rest. Its time to stop the chocolate and go to things like watermelon, strawberries, and other sweet fruits when the need for chocolate arises.

So as we only have four days left of 2014, and 2015 ahead, here is my challenge for myself and anyone else whom wishes to join me. Cut out the processed foods, remove the processed sugars, and eat fresh real food.

Below is a link to a very interesting article on studies done over seas on processed foods and the link between autoimmune disease and diet. This article is more on the salt levels in processed, take-a-way foods in the US. As I live in Australia we are another country that has similar situations with the amount of salt and sugar in processed foods, and alike.

http://preventdisease.com/news/13/030713_Scientists-Officially-Link-Processed-Foods-To-Autoimmune-Disease.shtml

Yesterday I sat and read this very interesting article that I came across on Facebook, it has merits, though there are areas that I personally feel to go against what I believe. I know we all have our own beliefs and ideas when it comes to being fit and healthy. I just found this article extremely interesting and made me sit back and really think. As I go forward into my Personal Training studies its good to see and learn different things that can be put into perspective with clients and that can also be changed.

http://mic.com/articles/91407/9-facts-shatter-the-biggest-stereotypes-about-people-who-are-fat

Its interesting to read different peoples opinions on weight, loosing weight, obesity, and their idea of a healthy lifestyle.

Today is the start to re-motivating myself to living a healthy life and the best I can.

Have a great week everyone...

Hayley xx

Just Keep Swimming....

This morning (Boxing Day) I headed out for an endurance swim, with my new waterproof iPod that is got yesterday for Christmas. It was awesome to be able to swim up and down the black line and be able to focus on the music that was playing and not on anything else. It was making the laps going so much faster, which was amazing. I originally thought it might not have been a good idea to have the iPod while swimming as I have a tendency to sing, but found it actually more relaxing and able to switch off from how the body was feeling.

This week will be a week spent at the gym, as I am working more days and hours this week coming. I am planning to put more effort into my gym sessions to help build more strength for my swimming. As the new year comes and with goals in mind its time to simplify a few things.

2015 will be a year of study, growing my own vegetables. Training hard, working hard, and finding good balance with everything that I do. Still staying focused on gaining more weight and building a strong body and mind.

I am going to have a go at kayaking as well with my son this summer, which should be good fun. I just want to have 2015 full of fun, exciting experiences, and hope others do the same.

Have a great day...

Hayley xx

Merry Christmas To All...

Wishing everyone around the world an amazing and safe Christmas with you friends and families. 

New years resolutions...

I have never really been one to sit and set New Years Resolutions, mainly because I don't believe in them as a resolution, if it was renamed as New Years Challenges it might be a different matter. So what is the difference between and resolution and a challenge?

Resolution: the act of resolving or determining upon an action, course of action, method, procedure, etc.

Challenge: difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it.

So why is it most people who make New Years Resolutions don't do them, or within a couple of days they are no longer a resolution? Is it that the resolutions are just too hard to bring to fruition, or are resolutions just not made into small challenges that are easier to face and do? The one I hear the most of is for people who want to loose weight. The thing I find is that there is no plan put into place before the first of January. It would be the hardest time to loose weight anyway or start a diet or start a training program, as the holidays are filled with family, friends, get togethers, food, alcohol, and hot weather (Southern Hemisphere) when you just want to lounge around doing nothing. 

So then there are distractions in the way of starting the resolutions.
So going forward into 2015 with a clear diary what would you like to do? Will it be a change in your career? Add to your family? Take on a new sporting challenge? Studying something completely new? No matter what it is may it be filled with many challenges, fun, and so much more.

I look forward to 2015 and what ever it brings to me, with new studies, challenges with my job, new friends, old friends, sporting challenges, and everything else that the universe has planned for me.

I also say good-bye to 2014 a year that has been filled to the brim with so much, good and bad. I reached my dream of doing a half Ironman race and the training involved to get there. Daily challenges in my job, challenges with my family, learning it is perfectly ok to gain weight and still look great. Learning to let go of my dream of running a marathon. Saying good-bye to my dear grandmother, whom I miss daily. Surprising myself with my writing. This one isn't a good-bye but more of a, I will see you next year...taking my swimming to the next level, and getting back on my bike, and building my body to meet my sporting goals, and not neglecting it.

If you make resolutions, please change them to challenges, and write your plan so you can meet your challenges and be proud of yourself to reaching them.

Hayley xx

Having Faith...

This for me is a difficult lesson to learn. I get so stuck into what I am doing especially sports wise, and when I have an injury that has put me out of running, it was initially difficult to understand why I couldn't go back to running at some point. Over the past couple of weeks I have come to realize that my obsession with running wasn't a healthy one. So in having this foot injury and not running has shown me that I need to look at the healthy benefits of swimming and not the obsessive thoughts. I have been told that I could possibly go back to running at a later time, but I have decided to not even look at that possibility.

Learning to dream new dreams is a little exciting, and knowing that it is ok to have new goals and dreams, well even though this is a childhood dream, just not in a pool and instead in the ocean. Learning the joy of solitude in the water, and being with your inner thoughts, as crazy as they can be at times. For me as a recovering anorexic is a little weird, as I usually don't like being on my own in a position to be able to think. Though for some reason I allow myself this time of distant thinking while in the water.

I mentioned to someone the other day about taking on marathon swimming as I am not running any more. They asked if I was going to do the English Channel Swim which is approximately 20 miles (32.2km). I said to him, it could always be a possibility, but the main thing at the moment in concentrating on building distance and holding a good pace as my distances get longer. So in late January I will take on a 5km open water swim at one of our local beaches in Perth. Then in February do the Busselton Jetty Swim of 3.6km. After February its going to be a matter of building distance and pace and lots of training swims and gym workouts as I hope to do a 10km open water swim in the 2015/16 open water swim season.

Having this foot injury has helped me to see things that I do in a new positive light, even though being in this moon-boot can make me a little grumpy.

Enjoy the rest of your week...

Hayley xx

Letting Go of Running...Marathon Swimming!

Today I swam 4 kilometers in a 50 meter pool. This is the the longest distance I have ever swum. As per usual the mind has a tendency to run into all different things. Today was one that allowed me to visualise the possible feeling of doing a marathon swim (20 kilometers) and the feeling of being able to stay strong in my stroke and technique when I was feeling tired. During this time I realised that swimming is what I am supposed to be doing. As a child I loved the open water of the beach and felt confident in my ability to swim. I also enjoyed swimming in the pool, and wish to this day that I was guided into swimming more as a child and

teenager.

I now have the feeling of its my time to put a childhood want, into fruition and spend my time in the water as much as possible. Yes I will miss running, but I have to admit I am not getting any younger and the body will not be able to run for ever, but I can swim into my older age, and as swimming is low impact on the body it has benefits that at this time I can't ignore.

Marathon swimming are distances 10 kilometers and over. In Perth we have an Open Water Swim Series that has distances of 2.5 kilometers, 5 kilometers and 10 kilometers, then we also have the Perth to Rottnest Island swim which is 20 kilometers. So the new plan is to swim a 5 kilometer swim later this summer and gradually build my distance in the pool and also do interval swims to keep building on swimming pace. Going to the gym to maintain good strength is going to be important as well. I will also get back into walking more once the foot is sorted out, as we have some good hills near our house it will help with leg and butt strength which in turn are great builders for kicking while swimming. This new challenge is going to be awesome to try and reach.

The other important issue for me it making sure I keep gaining weight. Currently I weigh approximately 52.5kg and need to be up around 60kg to make sure I have good insulation for long swims and with a little body fat and good muscle tone and build its going to a great challenge to meet head on.

Hope everyone finds a challenge and takes it on...
Hayley xx

Dreams become Reality...

At what point does a dream become reality? Is it when you write your plan for your dream down, or is it when you start putting your dream in to actuality and start preparing or working on it? Its easy enough to say...I dream of doing a half Ironman, but is it from the day your write that dream down that its reality? or is it the time you start your first training session, or is it when you step over the finishing mat that your dream is a reality?

I guess for everyone it could be different parts of their journey to the reality of their dream. I guess in sport its usually when you step over the finish line you can say...I dreamed of doing (.....) and today I accomplished my dream. I guess it could be the same if you had a dream to write a book, is it when the book is published that you have made your dream a reality, or is it in the journey of writing the words?

I have a dream of becoming a Personal Trainer, and yes I would have reached my dream and made it a reality when I get a piece of paper to say I am qualified, but its the journey of learning how to be the best Personal Trainer I can be will be the end result for me, and its the same when I am training for a triathlon. All the disciplines that you train individually, then put them all together on the day become one sport. During the training process you see your dream, you visualize your dream and on race day, accomplish your dream.

 No matter what your dreams, may your journey be filled with different experiences that when you have reached and brought your dream to fruition that you have learnt more about yourself and just how strong you really are.

Enjoy your day/night

Hayley xx

Back following the black line...

 Back following the black line...

 Being back in the water today following the black line was amazing. Jumping in with the initial feeling of cool water on the body, then focusing on the water, every stroke and breath. In the back of my mind the feeling of the foot, and making sure I didn't use it when doing my flip turns. Skimming through the water, I felt like I was free again, and able to switch off, well try to anyway. I think at one point I was just in the zone of going up an down the lane with ease. Also its one of the few swims I have done that I haven't had my Garmin on to keep count for me. I have to admit it was kind of nice.

The foot started to ache about 45 minutes into the swim and at that point I decided it was time to jump out of the water, feeling happy and relaxed and also starting to feel hungry, which is always a good sign of a good swim. The funny part was driving home through heavy traffic, I was singing to my favourite music and not caring if anyone around me heard. I was in just an awesome mood. That is the thing with swimming for me, and hopefully if I get a chance to get back running. Cycling not as much, but even prepared to get back on the bike in the new year and get some kilometers done again.

After doing some reading last night on some supplements to help me with endurance and recovery I decided to buy some BCAA which has L-Leucine, Citrulline Malate, Beta Alanine, L-Isoleucine, L-Valine. These are amino acids to help build muscle, sustain energy and recovery for the muscles. So with a good balanced diet and some supplements my training can only get better, recover better and feel better as well.

If I get the go ahead to run again, even if that is within the next 12 months I am prepared to look at my triathlon training again, with a new coach. So until I am allowed to run it will be me the water, my bike and the gym to build the best and healthiest body I can. I don't want another week like the past one. I know just how easy it is to revert back to not eating and not looking after myself, so from here its all systems go for a better, healthier and happier me.

Have a good one...
Hayley xx

A better day...

This afternoon has become so much better than it was this morning, almost a complete melt down, with it being day seven of no exercise I think I hit a point where I felt like emotionally I needed to implode, or explode. When your exercise is your way of dealing with emotional issues, and that is taken away from you, even temporarily life can get awfully difficult and I become a not nice person, I get grumpy, and generally ignore everyone around me. This has a bit to do with the eating disorder habits that I used to use, and when put in the current situation tend to go back to.

Luckily enough I have been given the green light to go to the gym tonight to do upper body, chest and abs and then I can start swimming again using a pool buoy so my feet don't move. This news has made me feel so much happier. I now know that I can't go without any form of exercise for more than a couple of days without it affecting me emotionally.

That feeling of shear determination comes in many ways and forms. I have had to be extremely determined to not let myself relapse into bad eating habits, even if I have managed to piss off people with my attitude. Have I managed to stay on top of a relapse happening? yes. Did I come close to relapsing? yes. The inner determination to not let a relapse happen can take almost every ounce of mental energy that one has. I understand it is very difficult for others who have not been through an eating disorder like anorexia to find this difficult to understand. I have been trying to stay outwardly positive with my customers that come into work, tried the same with friends and family, and I don't think it has been that successful. I am sorry to those whom I have mistreated over the past few weeks.

So I guess it is onward and upward from today on with going to the gym tonight for a little sweat session just to get the head into the right place and then a good solid swim tomorrow. I have also just ordered my Christmas present from my hubby today, a waterproof iPod. I am going to have to sort out a playlist that won't make me sing too much while swimming, I don't want to drink the whole 50 meter pool contents. I was thinking something a little lighter and easy listening.

Have an awesome week everyone.

Hayley xx

Fighting inner demons....

 Today I am struggling to find my inner strength. Day four of no exercise, this would be the longest time in about 8 years I have gone without any form to exercise, even walking. I can honestly say this is difficult.

As someone who is still trying to stay positive through my eating disorder recovery this is not easy. I don't have my normal avenues to relax my mind and deal with things as I normally would, and yes exercise is part of that for me. I am trying to maintain good eating habits with an inner battle sending off flares to say...hey you are going to gain weight, that isn't good. I am trying extremely hard to not let that voice get any louder.

This is the first time in ages that I have been forced not to do any exercise, and its totally foreign to me. Which I am sure some people would find that difficult to understand. I am enjoying the sleep ins in the mornings, though not enjoying the inability to take my dog for a walk, or just to go for a walk myself. I know I need to rest but my mind needs the availability to move the body, to get the endorphin's to get the blood pumping, to get that natural high.

This quote to the right says it all when I am in the water. I do feel free, alive, tired, calm, and so much more. That feeling of being free is amazing, just you the water and your strength to keeping going when you really want to stop. The thoughts that go through your mind can be amazing and strange, like when I did my 3.5km swim session the other week. I got to about 2.5km and was thinking of dinner, what tattoo I was going to have next, what I wanted for Christmas, and many other things. My mind has a tendency not to be quiet, always something going through it, unless I am asleep and that even depends on whether I am dreaming.

Now normally I don't swim with music on, but have decided I would like a waterproof iPod for Christmas so I can have my music playing while I swim, though have thought that as I am someone who likes to sing, I hope I don't do it while swimming or I might drown...or end up drinking lots of pool water. I contacted my physiotherapist tonight via Facebook and asked if I could maybe swim next week if I use my pool buoy, no answer yet, as I feel like I am going bonkers not being able to. By using the pool buoy it will allow my feet to stay still, and only use my upper body, or if I am not allowed, I will go to the gym and do upper body training and some abs. I just need to do something.

Hayley xx

Hope...Faith...Courage...

Day two of being in a moon-boot to stop my foot from moving and putting more stress on my sesamoid bones. Yesterday was long and some what painful at times, and as was today. I am sure each day will get better as the inflammation starts to settle. I am sure the universe is trying to tell me very loudly, as are some family and friends have been trying to tell me for a while now, I need to slow down a bit.

As some one who is extremely active, this time of being still (slowed down) isn't easy, and in fact is taking a lot of energy to keep from lapsing into bad eating habits and trying to control my food intake, as I am likely over the coming weeks to gain weight a little easier than normal due to no exercise at all. This is where my Hope, my Faith and my Courage to become stronger over time mentally and physically. A good friend of mine today said I need to use this time to gain the weight, and when I have the chance to get back into training I will be stronger.

I was told yesterday by my sports physician that I might be able to go back to running once we have this foot all sorted out. Initially I thought it was great, and slowly today have realized that as much as I love running, I will only do short runs if I am able to, no more than 5 km and spend my time in the pool pushing lap after lap to build my distances and times ready for next season (2015/16). I will still be doing my final swim in February, 3.6 kilometers, which will be exciting and to be able to then spend quality time training for longer distances for next season. Also spending time in the gym building good body strength, as I await my new book called Strength Training for Faster Swimming. So there is the positives in a negative situation.

I am seeing that there are times when we might need to changed the path we walk, and yes lay a new one. I also believe things happen for a reason, I am just a bit of a slow learner with some of them. I won't say I won't get frustrated over the next few weeks, with no training, and a busy time at work, and I am likely to be a little short tempered as well. I just need to have the inner faith that all will be ok and I will be back in the pool and gym soon enough.

As I find the courage and strength with in myself to stay focused on healing my foot, and making sure I get some rest, and that in time I will be back in the water doing what I love.

Have a great day/night and may we all find Hope, Faith and Courage to continue to dream, rest and play.

Hayley xx

Go the Distance...

Journey

a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather  longtime; trip:

a distance, course, or area traveled or suitable for traveling:

a period of travel:

passage or progress from one stage to another:

So where does our journey's take us? Our career, sport, family, travelling, life. Its true we are the holders to the key of our journey. We are the ones that make the decision of which avenue to take on our journey. Yes we have others in our lives that can help to direct us, but really in the end we are the only ones that take the twists and turns on our journey. 

We all experience different things on our journeys, change in career, people we work with, injury in sport, trying a new sport, coaches. Family well that is forever changing, new additions and sad losses. Travelling, just opens up a whole world of new experiences with total strangers.

My daughter showed me the film clip from Hercules with this song, and I searched for the lyrics, they are amazing. Also sung by Michael Bolton.

"Go The Distance"

I have often dreamed, of a far off place

Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me

Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face

And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance

I will find my way, if I can be strong

I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while

When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate

Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you

And a thousand years, would be worth the wait

It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back, I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat

It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope

Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part

For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance

I will search the world, I will face its' harms

I don't care how far, I can go the distance

Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms

Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

Out of Action...Not Going to Quit.....

Today started out to be not a pleasant one. Feeling down and grumpy after only 30 minutes in the pool this morning, due to foot being extremely sore. The frustration of the pain, not being able to do much at all, and walking well that is done hobbling and so going to the gym really isn't going to help, just can't put pressure on the foot.

So I sit at my desk, with a plate full of salad and cold meat (ham and salami) typing, with Phil Collins playing in the background, trying to pick myself up and see how I can turn this frustration and grumpiness into something a little more positive. So with deciding not to go to swimming training tonight, which is feeling so alien to me, I at least have given myself some time to blog, work on my website and write my book.

Now I am normally a very positive person, but when I get to a point of not being able to exercise or even being able to take my Golden Retriever for a walk, I have a tendency to loose the plot a little bit. So this is what I might be looking at in regards the foot is, another cortisone injection with it being either in a boot, or cast to keep it immobilized to allow it to heal properly, as I am on my feet about 90% of the day. So it will be interesting to see what the plan, is and the time that I won't be able to do any training.

 This is the time when I need to find things that make me laugh, like the quote to the left here. Even as I am typing I am having a chuckle, at least for a bit it takes my mind off the pain.

Its hard not to think of what I will do after I find out what treatment I will have, will I be able to do swimming, will I have to rest for weeks, oh I hope not, I don't think my family will like that. I get to the point of being extremely grumpy when I haven't done exercise. I had been 4 days since I last did a proper training session not including this mornings 30 minutes. So the endorphin's aren't getting the boost through the body and mind that I feel like I need. I have for a long time felt the happiest when I have had an endorphin rush, it just makes me feel awesome and happy. I know that isn't the healthiest way to be happy, but for me it has worked for so long, but seeing that when I am injured and need extended time off I get the grumps really badly. But previously I was able to still go walking long distances, or walk the dog, or just get out and do things, but this time is different, I am at a complete stand still. So this is all very new.

Ok so here are the positives, I get to focus on my weight gain that I need in order to do the Perth to Rottnest Swim in a couple of years, which will then allow me to have the energy and strength to get back in to my training when I am able to. It also allows me to focus on my writing, website some study and research.

So as a little pick me up, its me my computer, chocolate coated honeycomb and water. Hope everyone has a better week than me and I will let you all know how things go on Wednesday with specialist.

Hayley xx