Making New Goals and Dreams...

Today I decided to let go of my dream to run Marathons and the Boston Marathon. I have a reoccurring injury with my right foot, and as it has progressively worsen even without running. So after seeing my physiotherapist today and being told to stop running and rest and not just for 8 weeks, I asked, do I need to look at stopping running all together? There wasn't a definite answer, and I understand why, as it is my decision in the long run...sorry about the pun.

Even over the last couple of days I have questioned myself to my running and my injury. Do I get another cortisone injection to get me through the Busselton Half Marathon, and that be it, or just leave running all together. I guess for me the hardest part of all this is not running, after all I do love being out pounding the pavement, in the fresh air, even the rain, allowing myself to switch off from everything. Now its a matter of finding something that I can love as much and find the same stress relief.

I took a moment today to remember what my dream was as a child. It was to swim competitively. Well I didn't get to do that in my younger years, but have managed to do it as an adult. I don't look at the open water swimming races I do as competing against others, its more about getting the distance done and about my own times. This is what I need to remember, that I can build my strength and become a better swimmer. I will also spend time in the gym building my fitness, strength and muscle definition, and maybe just one day I will be strong enough to take on the Rottnest Swim, which is a 20km swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island. People can do this as a team of 4, 2 or solo.

So as I step forward and get my head around the fact that running isn't an option at this point, I look at what I can do, and that is to build my strength, mentally and physically. Take on my swimming as my main love, as well as the gym to continue to build my body. To nourish my body with good healthy food, and nourish my soul with positives, not negatives.

Here is the funny part, my husband will be happier that I won't need to spend so much money on running shoes as often any more, but then there are all the bathers I will go through and maybe another wetsuit (with no sleeves) to add to the collection, oh and goggles...well lets see what else I can add to the collection. Oh and new gym clothes...yep all is good then.

 Looking for my strength, which I know is within me, and as much as I talk about my physical strength and mental strength I still need to work on them daily. As someone who is still recovering from an eating disorder, things like having to let go of my running, puts me in a place where I need to work through it and process what has happened, what will happen and how I feel about it all. As I used to focus so heavily on running for controlling my weight, and having running be a big part of my life over the last 5 years, its a hard part to let go of, but by learning this lesson I will be a stronger person for it. I guess that is why we are here for the lessons of our lives no matter what they are.

So tomorrow is a new day, and new beginnings and new steps forward to new goals and new dreams.

Hayley xx