Why do we do the things we do??

Sun Set over Busselton, we are being watched 

Its interesting where you will find your inspiration and confirmation on what you are doing. Finding the answers to your own questions. I sat listening to a podcast of my husbands which talks about fitness, diet, and mind set. The question, "Why do we do the things we do??" came to me while listening this podcast on the way to Busselton.

I looked at the way I could answer this, I could take it from me as an athlete, me as a mother, wife, employee, recovering from an eating disorder, and so many other ways. I guess for me at the moment it would be from the athlete perspective.

So why do I swim so much? Why do I love photography? Swimming has become my go to. I love the feeling of the water around me, I love the feeling of gliding through the water, whether it be in the pool or in the ocean. Being able to swim in the ocean and seeing the fish below you is so amazing and being part of nature in that way without disturbing it is so nice.

I have been asked more than once to why I swim, why do I want to do marathon swimming, why do I want to push my body to that extent. There is no one answer for all those questions. I have never been one to sit still, I have always been a busy minded person. I guess swimming has been my time to quieten my mind to a point. Not have someone constantly tell me what to do, or hear people arguing around me, time for me to go into myself, which is good but can be very scary. I used to think of ways to stay skinny, as I didn't want to eat and thought I was healthy then and really didn't know any different, where now its time for me to think about topics for my blog, designing my website, ideas for my book, even designing my t shirt that I want made for myself. I also think of training sessions that I need to do and even visualise the finish to the Rottnest Channel Swim. So I guess my mind is not all that quiet though a lot more positive.

The reason for marathon swimming I guess is a way of me understanding myself, on all levels. On the surface of myself physically. Can my body deal with swimming such long distances and does it hold up to what I can put it through. The mental level, of how do I cope with my body starting to hurt, or fatigue, can I work my way through the uncomfortable feelings, also the feeling of being stung by jellyfish over and over and still managing to keep going. Spirit level, the deepest part of me that just becomes hypnotized by the water, my surroundings, my thoughts. I almost become one with the water and my surroundings. I feel suspended in mid air while I am swimming,  the water holds me in place and I am able to almost fly through the water and when you see fish of all sizes below you its almost like being one of them.

If I take the line of recovering from an eating disorder. I have used the fact that I have had to gain 17 kilograms to do the Rottnest Channel Swim. It was a have to gain the weight, not think about gaining it. I have managed so far to gain 15 kilograms and feel so much healthier for doing it. I feel that I was so stupid when I used to think being skinny, and not eating was the best way to get faster, I was oh so wrong. I have come to see that just how important it is to have that extra muscle, and body weight on to achieve the distances I can do, live the life I do, and that is once I get up in the morning I keep going until I go to sleep at night. So for me I do my swim training in the morning, and then go to work by midday and work through to 8:30pm, then home and eat dinner and get some time out reading or catching up on the computer, then head for bed by 10:30pm. So my days are long and full.

If I was still trying to destruct my life with restricting my eating I would not be able to get through what I can now. Also I am more mentally aware of what happens with me and around me. I used to live my life in a lethargic fog, that had a persona of being a hyper-active child where I would run on adrenaline and sugar to keep me going, but would turn on a two cent piece into a bad or emotional mood.

Taking up photography has been a more tranquil side of myself I have recently found. I can drive or walk around and see everyday things that I see in such a different way. I drive past a large patch of national park and the change of seasons have changed the colours of the field. From being green its now yellow, and soon it will be brown from being dried out. Like each sunset, they can all be different. It just opens your eyes and heart to simple things being amazing.

No matter what you do or why you do it, as long as its positive keep going, if there are negative aspects maybe changes can be made for the better.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx