Making New Goals and Dreams...

Today I decided to let go of my dream to run Marathons and the Boston Marathon. I have a reoccurring injury with my right foot, and as it has progressively worsen even without running. So after seeing my physiotherapist today and being told to stop running and rest and not just for 8 weeks, I asked, do I need to look at stopping running all together? There wasn't a definite answer, and I understand why, as it is my decision in the long run...sorry about the pun.

Even over the last couple of days I have questioned myself to my running and my injury. Do I get another cortisone injection to get me through the Busselton Half Marathon, and that be it, or just leave running all together. I guess for me the hardest part of all this is not running, after all I do love being out pounding the pavement, in the fresh air, even the rain, allowing myself to switch off from everything. Now its a matter of finding something that I can love as much and find the same stress relief.

I took a moment today to remember what my dream was as a child. It was to swim competitively. Well I didn't get to do that in my younger years, but have managed to do it as an adult. I don't look at the open water swimming races I do as competing against others, its more about getting the distance done and about my own times. This is what I need to remember, that I can build my strength and become a better swimmer. I will also spend time in the gym building my fitness, strength and muscle definition, and maybe just one day I will be strong enough to take on the Rottnest Swim, which is a 20km swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island. People can do this as a team of 4, 2 or solo.

So as I step forward and get my head around the fact that running isn't an option at this point, I look at what I can do, and that is to build my strength, mentally and physically. Take on my swimming as my main love, as well as the gym to continue to build my body. To nourish my body with good healthy food, and nourish my soul with positives, not negatives.

Here is the funny part, my husband will be happier that I won't need to spend so much money on running shoes as often any more, but then there are all the bathers I will go through and maybe another wetsuit (with no sleeves) to add to the collection, oh and goggles...well lets see what else I can add to the collection. Oh and new gym clothes...yep all is good then.

 Looking for my strength, which I know is within me, and as much as I talk about my physical strength and mental strength I still need to work on them daily. As someone who is still recovering from an eating disorder, things like having to let go of my running, puts me in a place where I need to work through it and process what has happened, what will happen and how I feel about it all. As I used to focus so heavily on running for controlling my weight, and having running be a big part of my life over the last 5 years, its a hard part to let go of, but by learning this lesson I will be a stronger person for it. I guess that is why we are here for the lessons of our lives no matter what they are.

So tomorrow is a new day, and new beginnings and new steps forward to new goals and new dreams.

Hayley xx

Fears are to be Understood...

Yesterday I found out the Point to Point swim I want to do in January is 7 kilometers (4.6 miles) which kind of freaked me out. I have never swum more than 2.5km at one time in open water. I sat last night and thought about this race and distance over and over again. In a way I feared the distance, but I think I feared more my capability to do the distance.

I messaged a good friend of mine last night asking for a pep talk, with this one. One of the answers I got from him was..."Why aren't you trusting your training?" I said to him that it wasn't the training that I wasn't trusting it was the distance, and he was right in his comment next..."One thing I've discovered is that numbers are just numbers and we typically build them up in our minds way more than they need to be." He is so very right in this. 7km is just a number, with good focus on my training, and nutrition I will make it through the distance.

So now it is time to believe in myself and my ability to train hard, eat well and focus on getting through this up and coming swim.

I will also be cutting back on my running for a little while, to allow the sesamoiditis in my foot to settle a bit more. I will have 4 weeks between the Point to Point swim and doing Busselton Half Marathon and Jetty swim. There is this saying I tend to use a fair bit..."where there is a will the there is a way!" I stand by this quote and know it is true.

So with the start to my new training plan I managed to pump out 2 kilometers at the pool this morning, feeling still a little stiff from the weekends swim, it was good to get it done. Tomorrow will be a run on the treadmill at the gym. Rest day is Friday and then another 2 days of training, Saturday being parkrun (5km run) and then an endurance swim (2hrs of straight swimming with not stopping). The big part of the endurance swims will be mental strength. As you go your mind starts 'talking', and you can either end up talking yourself out of what you are doing or push harder. It will be a matter of staying focused on good technique, especially when you become tired.

May we find something that scares us enough not to run away from it, but face it and conquer our fear.

Hayley xx

Patience in Learning....

Learning: The acquisition of knowledge or skills through study, experience, or being taught:
Patience: The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious:

This is something I have had troubles with during my life. I am not a very patient person, and learning, well that depends on what it is I need to learn or wish to learn. Coming to the conclusion this morning that as I get older I need a little more rest between times of training and competing. Also making sure I am getting enough nutrition into the body is very important, I can't afford to go backwards and loose weight and keep up the amount of exercise that I do, plus working.  So today I made it as my recovery day. I am spending the day doing a bit of Christmas shopping, and making myself some yummy pork belly for lunch with salad and just chilling out on the computer. Tonight we have a guest coming for dinner, so its a healthy bbq for us. Our friend is trying to drop a few kg's and I am trying to help with us having a healthy dinner. Menu for tonight will be, lean meat, light potato salad, and fresh greens. Light and easy is the way to go. 

Each time I see this quote I laugh, the fun we would have if we were kids playing in the rain, as adults we need to bring the inner child in us out more often, and not worry about what others think of us, as long as we are having fun and not hurting anyone else. 

I feel today is a beautiful turning point for me in my goals to understand that I need to rest, recover in order to be better tomorrow for another session. So instead of training 6 days straight, I will train for 2 days, rest then train for 2 days and rest, and so on. That way the body has time to recover and maintain my weight and most of all maintain good mental strength.

 When I was shopping this morning, I went into the book store and had to have a laugh, I know its not the right thing, but the amount of books that are out for 'diets' and exercise is huge, and I know its a big industry, and yes I am caught up in it myself. The interesting thing is for me that there is nothing really on the commonsense side of dieting and exercise. The quote here is true, we can all workout at the gym, walk, run, cycle, swim, etc, but when it comes down to loosing weight or even trying to gain weight, it comes down to what is on your plate. If you are someone who wants to drop a couple of kg's (pounds) then you really need to look at what you are eating, but most of all the proportions you put on your plate. 

No matter what we are all working on, in our lives stay strong, have patience and we need to learn our lessons...

Have a great one...

Hayley xx

Open Water Swim # 2 Debrief...

So here is where it is at...1:02:16 was the time for today's swim. 4 minutes slower than race one, and the reason was crappy conditions. East south easterly winds came through a little earlier than expected which picked up the swell and made for choppy conditions. My pre-race pep talk to myself didn't quite go as positive as I would have liked, as I watch the swell and breeze and knew that this wasn't going to be an easy swim.

So us girls for the 2.5km race head into the water and with the water a reasonable temperature, not icy cold but not overly warm either, swimming out to the buoys to wait our start. The gun goes off and the first leg heading north was good, I could take it a little easy as the water was carrying us in that direction, turned the first buoy, starting to head into the swell and with another 50 meters and another turn, this time straight into the swell. My goodness up and down waves and trying to sight and not drink too much of the ocean. It felt like it took ages to make it to the first sighting buoy (not a turning point) then with other swimmers in my sight I kept on target for the next turn and feeling a little disorientated from the waves (up and down them). I take the turn. With the thoughts of almost home going through my head was a little better than...please I want to stop!!...I headed to the last turning buoy which wasn't easy as sighting became difficult because of the choppy water. I finally could see the yellow and orange buoys and knew I was close. By this point I wasn't fussed with my time due to conditions.

Now looking at the conditions of today I knew that City Beach can be choppy at this time of year, and that is why I originally wasn't going to do race 2. I finally decided to take on the race and hope it was going to less choppy. Like this quote says, life does begin at the end of your comfort zone, I now know that I am more than capable of swimming that distance in choppy waters. So I learnt something about myself today as well. With each new experience comes new lessons, ideas and goals.

So from today I know I need to build my shoulder and arm strength for future swims in these sort of conditions. Which in turn will help with speed in calmer waters. As always I still have the deep love for ocean swimming as I did as a child. I now look forward to race 3, and hope for calmer waters for that race.

 I hope you find your end of your comfort zone and begin life. Have a great week.

Hayley xx

Be Fearless...

Believing in yourself is never the easiest thing to do in life, or you can be seen as being 'stuck-up' or more superior to others. I believe you can quietly believe in yourself and show people that you are fearless and are motivated to reach your goals and hopefully inspire others around you.

Tomorrow is Open Water Swimming again, race 2. 2.5km again at one of our lovely beaches in Perth. As I wake at 5:30am to leave home at 6am and everyone else in my family are asleep I plug my headphones into my ears, turn the the ignition on in my car, pull out of my driveway and head to the coast which is a 30+ minute drive. I play the swim over in my head one the way down, also eating my banana as well, and get some fluids in to the body. Park the car and head for registration, get my cap and timing chip and make myself comfortable as I wait for our briefing and call up for our distance start.

When I do these kind of distance swims and I am starting to get a little tired in the water, I have this running through my head from my all time favourite movie...

  Its a great mantra when swimming because you can get into a great rhythm when you start to get tired and I have to sometimes try not to laugh when I am swimming when I do this. I also have used this but for running, when I was towards the end of a half marathon in a triathlon in 42 degree heat last year. So you can imagine someone running near you singing...Just keep running, Just keep running...over and over and over...yes some people were laughing at me, but I got to the end.

I have such a love for the ocean. I had people at work ask me tonight if I am worried about Sharks, and I know I have mentioned this before, that I have total respect for the life of the ocean.

I am hoping for a better time that race one. So with fingers crossed that the weather stays calm and so do the waters it will be an awesome morning for swimming. Weather has just been checked, looking good.

May we all reach for the sky with our dream on land or in the water. We are all more than capable to reach them and exceed them. Nothing in life is going to be easy, and where would the challenge be if you didn't have to work for your dreams...goals.

Lets be thankful for our challenges in life whether they be life long or short term. They make us who we are, and who we will be.

Hayley xx

The Spark of Determination....

Finding the Inner Fire that keeps your 

Determination going to do what you love.

The photo to the left is me taken two years ago when I started out in triathlon, weighing in at just 45kg (99 pounds) thinking I was dealing with my eating disorder and training 5-7 days a week. I was skinny, and thought I could do anything with still not eating enough to get through my training and gain weight as well.

Today I am a totally different me, I am more aware of my health and what makes me a happier and healthier person. Today I eat to maintain my weight, and also to fuel for my training. I make sure I have a balanced diet of Carbohydrates, Protein, Fats (good ones), Dairy, Vegetables, Salads and Fruit.

Last night I watched a show on TV about a "new diet" Low Carb High Fat, I am still not sure if I agree with this, but happy to look further into it and pick it to pieces to see where is might work or won't. Which has lead me to look further at what I want to do when I grow up...So starting early next year I will take on my Personal Training course. I would also like to do a Dietitian Degree in the future as well. Even possibly right a book or ebook. So with this deep seated determination to get these things done, I look forward to the lessons I learn along the way of this journey.
Its interesting that something like an article on facebook or a show on tv can light the fire of determination like it has with me.

I hope everyone has a great weekend...

Hayley xx

You Have Options...

Today I have had moments of thinking running long distance is going to be a bit of an issue, a particular injury isn't settling as well as I would like, and the possibility of another cortisone injection might be on the cards. I am currently having physiotherapy to see if that helps. So my options are this...keep up with physio, do long runs on an anti-gravity treadmill, or all of the above and still have the cortisone injection to get me through a half marathon at the start of February.

I want to run so much, that thinking of not being able to makes me shudder, Yes I have options to do long distance swimming and get back into cycling, but for me running is my meditation time. I can put my headphones on and run to the beat. I can't see running not being apart of my life.

 So at this point in time my injury has turned into a challenge, to work out how to fix it, and to minimize as much discomfort as possible. Its also a time to stay positive and try to keep focused on the end goal even though its a way off. So this week I will focus on my second 2.5km open water swim on Sunday. With a new goal to beat my time from the other week, this will help take my mind off of the foot.

 So as the next few days will be busy, I want to stay positive for my swim on Sunday, and hope that the weather is good, the water is calm and not to cold. Things happen that cause us to contemplate changing our goals, and when that time comes we need not feel like a failure, as we have not given up and walked away, but that we have done everything possible before it gets to that point.

So I will build my body up to be able to run and swim the best I can.

Have a great day/night and remember we have options, and our thoughts can change our worlds.

Hayley xx