46 days to go....

 Today I have spent it swimming, reading, writing, listening, and thinking. The above quote stirs my heart and mind into so many thoughts and feelings. Its interesting to see how you think you are so passionate about something to only realise it was a stepping stone to something so much more. I thought my passion for triathlon was so much deeper than what it was, I didn't have a true understanding of myself then. I thought I knew what I wanted and why, but I was still in the midst of an eating disorder and its treatment.

Yes I could train six days a week and sort of know what I was doing and why, but its now that I am so much further in my recovery and into my swimming and understanding so much more about myself and my true passions in life and how to use them. I have 46 days till the Rottnest Channel Swim, with hope of a calm day weather wise, I know within my heart and mind that if it is rough that I will do everything in my power to swim the 20 kilometers to Rottnest Island within 10 hours.

I have a lot of people ask me why I am doing this, I usually say because I can, and want to. Which is a bit of a flippant attitude. I sat thinking today that what I have managed to get through with coming to terms with an eating disorder, nearly loosing my life 9 years ago, learning to understand who I truly am. I can say I am doing the swim to show that I can recover for a mental illness that I still carry with me but am recovering every day further and further. To know I am seeing my weight gain as a truly positive aspect of my life and that I can share this with other girls and women to see that being skinny isn't what its all made out to be.

I have managed to drop some of my attitude barriers as I call them, by not being so independent that never let anyone help me, even though there are times when I still feel that I am more than capable of doing so much, but are less resistant to peoples offer of help. The one thing growing up that I was actually taught, was to think about yourself and to be able to do a lot of things on your own. We all go through different things in our lives and its up to ourselves to understand why, what and how to deal with what we go through. These I have found to be the biggest lessons in life that we are to learn from and if we get the chance to share and help others.

Training is going really well for the swim, with upping the anti to six days a week of pool swimming and some open water swimming and yes being stung by stingers (jellyfish), its all part of the training process to a degree, but not one of the most pleasant parts, especially when you have stingers all over you face and leaves you a stunning red mark on your cheek. I have a giggle when people look at the stings on me and then question "why?" I say because I enjoy it, not the stingers but the feeling of being free in the water, going with the waves and seeing the sand below you patterned by the water and then stirred up by the waves that are above the sand. Some days are calmer than others and no matter you feel like you are one with the ocean at the time.

Learning to relax in the water is a special part of swimming in the ocean, people tend to be on guard thinking a shark will come by, or something else that might hurt them. I always go into the water with such a deep seated respect for the water and the ocean life that is there. If I am to be nibbled on by a shark and not survive then so be it, I can say I would go doing something that makes me happy and free, though I am more likely to be involved in a car accident that be taken by a shark, even though Perth has had a large number of sightings up and down the coast over the past few weeks.

We all have dreams, some of us are prepared to chase them and make the true, others might sit back and wait for the right time, I am a chaser, and always will be. I ask that you to be a chaser of your dreams and make them come true, because we are here to live our lives to the fullest, and make our dreams come true, or we would not have be given them in the first place.

Have an awesome week, and dream big...

Hayley xx

Our Path Way is Never Straight!!!

This is one of my most favourite photos I have seen on facebook, walking down this pathway could lead in so many directions. Straight into the ocean, you could turn right or left and not know what will be ahead of you.

Life is full of so many twists and turns that our pathway is never straight. I think if we had life pathways that were straight we wouldn't learn the lessons that put before us, no matter what sort of lesson they are. Unhappy lessons are where we learn the most, whether at the time or not we will see those lessons when we need to and understand and be thankful for them. Happy twists are awesome, we still learn the lessons and understand them probably a little quicker than those of that are hard, or unhappy.

Would you walk straight into the water and swim, or would you turn to the left or right, and walk up or down the beach...what would you be seeking, what would you find? If you were swimming, how far would you swim out? How would you feel, unsure? scared? relief? happiness? Its your choice to which way you want to go, its your choice to how you deal with the lessons put before you. You are strong enough to take what the universe puts before and around you. No one else can walk your path, they can walk next to you, but at some point you will go in different directions and others will come into your life for lessons to learn and experiences to be had.

Are  you the one that needs to know what is at the end of the pathway, are you the one that needs to see what lays ahead before you make the decision to which direction you want to take. Are you the cautious one that counts all the steps in front of you, are you the one that is a free spirit and swims so far out to sea that you feel like you are one with the sharks, seals, fish, whales, or do you stay close to the shore for safety and not ready to let go of what scares you and holds you back?

Are you ready to walk into the direction your heart pulls you towards? or do you still want to stay safe and in your comfort zone, are you prepared to take on what ever the universe has to throw at you and learn the lessons that you are meant to learn?

No matter which way you go, take each day with both hands and an open heart!

Hayley xx

Quietening the Mind....

 Finding the time to sit quietly and read or think can be hard to do, I myself have always, for as long as I can remember always had a active mind and sometimes a little over active. These days with technology always with us pretty much 24/7 we don't seem to get that time to just shut down, or we do and we choose not to or its just so hard.

I have found over the past year that when I have been swimming longer distances in the pool, my mind would seriously run a muck, then I got a water proof iPod for Christmas (2014) and that made a huge difference, I either had a fast paced playset on, or something a little lighter and slower. I found the iPod really helped me with all the noise in my head, the negatives that ran wild and the noise that just wouldn't go away, which made my swimming unpleasant and frustrating at times.

 It became necessary to have my iPod on for pretty much most of my swim sessions, and then mid 2015 I was finding that the sound of music constantly play in my ears was getting annoying as well. I felt like I was going around in circles. Either have music or negative thoughts. Then I decided to play in my mind certain parts of my favourite kids movie...of course...Finding Nemo.

This seemed to help as well, and as I felt myself relax more with my stroke I was getting to a point where I could almost go to sleep while I was swimming, ah yes that meditative mind set, the body is relaxed enough while doing what it needs to do, and the mind has gone all quiet. I have had moments like this while swimming and am sure that I have closed my eyes and drifted off for seconds, which feels so much longer.

When we give ourselves the chance to quieten our minds, I deeply believe our souls do speak to us. We find new ideas, answers to long lost questions, guidance and so much more. We also allow the creative sides of ourselves to come forward and show what is there, if in thought and in more.

Lets take some time to just be silent and listen as closely to your inner-self to see what its trying to tell you...you might be pleasantly surprised.

Have an amazing week where ever you are in this big wide world of ours :)

Hayley xx

Happy New Year

I have just found this quote on Facebook tonight, and felt it worth every word, and wish everyone around this amazing world we live in the most amazing New Year, and even though 2015 is about to come to an end, we don't have to forget every thing we have learnt, lost, loved, shared and gained. These are all the memories that we will keep for a life time.

Happy New Years to everyone....

Hayley xx

Mullaloo 5km Open Water Swim....

This morning saw another beautiful summers day at Mullaloo Beach, Perth. Ready to face another five kilometer swim with many other people from around Perth. Distances on offer today were 500m, 1.25km, 2.5km 5km and 10km. As I have already done my qualifying 10km swim I made the decision to stay doing the 5km for the Open Water Swim Series. Though today will be backing it up with a recovery swim at our local pool, the cold water will help the muscles to recover. I have a 5km swim tomorrow on the cards with my paddler as a training session before doing Rottnest Swim.

So water temperature was a very pleasant 22 degrees C, very few stingers and a slight chop to the water when turning to head north. The difference with today's swim was the circuit was set in a clockwise direction when normally we swim in an anti-clockwise direction.

A couple of technical issues, goggles fogged up so a till sea water to wash out and we were on our way, oh and the feeling that my timing chip-band felt like it was going to fall off, so again and quick roll onto my back and check, found it in firm contact with the edges of velcro and back we swim again.

Now normally I wouldn't put up photos of my underarm, but as I didn't have any good war wounds from stingers today, the chaffing was as good as it gets, and believe me chaffing can be just as or if not more painful than stingers. So even though there were stingers in the water, but not as many as there has been at other locations, I tried something a little different today. A layer of Stingoses cream (soothes stings and insect bites) then a layer of sun cream over the top, though I did forget the vasoline which would have helped with reducing the chaffing issue, but again another lesson learnt.

With another 5km swim organised for tomorrow morning with my Rotto Swim paddler the vasoline will definitely come in handy and also the stingose. This will give me a total also of approximately 12km done for 2 days of training.

With eight weeks of good solid training left its a matter of keeping the kilometers turning over, as much of it will be done in the pool, it comes down to a lot of technique training, sprint training and also breathing. I found today that I wasn't exhausted after the 5km but felt no uncomfortable feeling like I normally do when I start to fatigue and the only things I can put this down to, is good calm breathing (every 4 strokes, site every 12 strokes) and being hydrated and energy loaded to start with.

The best part of an open water swim is the food after. Gluten free egg and bacon roll, followed by 2 scoops of choc-mint and white chocolate ice cream.

Now that my recovery swim is done, and now munching on caramel popcorn and chilling out, what else could a girl want.

Have a great day everyone....

Hayley xx

Merry Christmas....

Merry Christmas to everyone, hope for safety and love to all...

Hayley xx

Feeling Disconnected....

 Today has been one of frustration, emotion, and being disconnected. The past couple of day I have been running around getting the last of my Christmas shopping done. Here in Perth we have hit a bit of warm weather (40 degrees C), so the frustrations comes out more from being hot and bothered and trying to get everything done.

I have managed now to sit and relax and cool off under the air-conditioner in the study. I have my favourite music playing and just trying to chill out a bit.

I find this time of year a little unpleasant and unfortunately some people around me end up having to face my grumpy demeanor.  I have for many years built up my guard from negative conversations that I have had over certain Christmas lunches and dinners, though I just have to remember I don't have to sit through them any more and can relax and enjoy the day more than I used to.

I find that when I get into this disconnected situation I have to stop and remember that I am only human and have to face my emotions whether they are good or bad. If I can't get to the beach or into the pool, its me, my music and journalling or blogging. This time allows me to sit quietly, contemplate the lyrics to some of my favourite songs and just reconnect with myself. Life at this time of years gets so out of control with work, Christmas preparation, shopping and swim training. To have just a few hours to stop and regroup is sometimes all I need and by the next day all is good and back on track.

This is also the time people start to look forward to working out New Years Resolutions, something I don't think I have done in so long. I tend to think about things I would like to do or reach, so for me its more of a goal setting time. It can be a time of connecting with my inner self to work out what is more important to do and reach for.

Resolution: a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting,by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group.

Goals:
the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

This is where the difference is, goals show more direction in my opinion than a resolution which to me is a statement of wanting to do something, though more times it doesn't last more than a couple of days or a month at most.

Lets make the move to connect our own dots our own way...have a great night....

Hayley xx