How Music has helped in Recovery...

The words of our favourite songs have such meaning to each one of us. For me it has always been power ballads that get me, that pull my heart strings, that draw the tears, bring the smile from under the tears.

I remember the song I played over and over when I heard the news my grandfather wasn't going to survive the multiple strokes he had had, and at that time I was in another state and was wanting so badly to get home to his bed side to say my goodbyes. I was lucky that week, he held on till I got home a few days later to say goodbye, the song I listened to for days was by Ronan Keating "In This Life", I was loosing someone who so dear to me, and even as I play this song right now it brings me to tears remembering my grandfather and what he meant to me.

In my teens I would spend most of my time after school in my room with my music on and looking like I was studying. I would sit at my desk and dream of ways to leave home as I was so very unhappy. I would play my music loud so I didn't have to hear conversations between my parents and the fights they would have. Music at that time in my life was my escape.

I have songs that have such deep meaning to me, like the song I walked down the isle to, to marry my husband, songs that would make me feel happy, songs that remind me of people in my life, life experiences and so much more.

While I have been dealing with my recovery from my eating disorder I found a song that resonated so deeply with me on so many different levels. I first heard it from a link on Facebook, I saw the clip for the song "Skyscrapper" which was sung by Sam Bailey, the original was done by Demi Lovato, below is the chorus to "Skyscrapper":

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

The whole song I sing as loud as I can when I feel the eating disorder starting to yell in my head and trying to get my attention again. I am rising from the ground that the eating disorder had me on, to the sky where I can spread my wings of healthiness.

This song also got me through many a day over the last 12-14 months as I decided to put an end to my relationship with certain people in my life that was the hardest thing I have done, and even to today I feel that was the right decision for myself and my recovery.

The days I would go and visit my grandmother knowing at any time she wouldn't be with me again, except in my heart, I would put my headphones on and put this up loud and sing, I didn't care if anyone in cars around me heard me, it was my way to dealing with all the emotion that was cascading through my heart, mind and soul at the time.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't listen to my favourite songs, and there are many a day that I let my tears run, and memories shine.

Till next time enjoy the music that moves you.