The Journey...Where ever it takes me.

I know I mention in my blog posts about the journey of life, or in life. I feel that at this time mine is taking on another curve. I am currently feeling like there is new lessons in my life and I am ready to take on those lessons, for I am sure there are positives to those lessons. I am the sort of person who believes that the universe has a plan for each and every one of us.

I have always being a very active person and today that seems to be slowing down, for positive reasons. I feel like my life is going in a new direction on my path and journey and one full of excitement. I guess its my time to finally see that slowing down, smelling the roses, so to speak and listening to the universe more is what I should be doing. I am not going to give up my swimming or my goal to swim from Cottesloe Beach to Rottnest Island next year. I guess I am not going to be so obsessed with it.

This past few weeks I have been reading an awesome book by Paula Munier, Writing with quiet hands. I have been interested in writing for a while, and since starting blogging I have become more interested in non fiction and fiction writing. Writing with quiet hands by Paula Munier has opened my eyes even more to the craft of writing and not just the words that are written. Right at the beginning you are asked to work out what genre you are writing for. For me its a mix of Inspirational, Women's fiction and even stepping into the world of non-fiction for health and well being.

My daughter has been an avid writer for the last five to ten years, even at school she was wrapped up in her writing more than her homework. I knew that she had an issue with planning and this past week with what I have learnt from reading Writing with quiet hands, has helped me to guide my daughter to see that some planning is better than none. We have both spent some time planning our novels, and can now look to extend the planning and start the next phase of adding more detail to the plans. So here is to some awesome creativity coming from us girls.

I now step forward with reading another of Paula Munier's books, Plot Perfect. With today being a national public holiday where we remember those past that have sacrificed their lives for our country so we can have what we do today, and the weather here to be persisting down with lovely rain, and cool, but not cold temperatures its nice to be indoors to be reading, writing and learning.

If you get the chance to pick up a book and have the time to sit, read, learn and even run-a-way to a fictional world to be someone else just for the day. Enjoy and have an awesome day.

Hayley xx

Transitions in Life...

We all go through transitions in life, even from the time of being a young child. We go from being home with mum all the time to kindergarten, then we go to primary school, then high school, we make friends as we go, we might make friends when we start school, and then due to our parents having changed jobs, or moved house we change schools and make new friends, and even as we go through our adult lives, such as university, careers, moving interstate, overseas, etc life is all about transitions.

As much as transition can be a big part of our lives, why is it, that some transitions stand out a lot more than others? Is it the family member that is no longer with us, that makes us stand back and re-evaluate our lives? Is it the loss of a job that we start to think that a change in career or job might be needed? Is it a win fall in money that makes us change the way we live, by travelling, being financially free, being able to buy what ever, being able to help others around us? Or can it be stopping and listening to your own inner voice for once? The day you get back news from your doctor about having to deal with a non life threatening illness? Why does it take so long for us to stop, take stock, and re-evaluate our lives?

For me I have felt myself going through a big transition period in my life for the past few years. I have decided that recovery from an eating disorder to be vital to my well being and that of my family and friends around me. I have come to see that as much as I love exercise and always felt the absolute need for it everyday, isn't really needed as strongly in my life, though when I do exercise its for a positive reason not a negative one. My down time after surgery to see that a love as a child of writing can be so therapeutic and enjoyable and not rushing the inner thoughts and ideas, when just letting them come as they do is most enjoyable. So for me going from a hyper person always on the go, and not stopping till I drop into bed and fall asleep, is really no longer, and that I can take time without being scared to listen to my inner self, find my joys, lessons, and understanding.

Transitions in life can be simple or more complicated. It is up to ourselves to work out if these transitions are a lesson and take heed of that lesson, or just a transient time in our lives.

Have an awesome weekend...

Hayley xx

To be Perfect or Imperfect the Choice is Yours!

"She sits by her window, gazing out at the garden, her mind running away, to a far away place. The place of perfection. The perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect career, and living the perfect life. Pop the day dream ends, her mind rushes back to the present, school, home, parents...the ideals of a twelve year old girl."

Why do we constantly search for perfection in everything, when deep down we all know its not there. Why does society push for us to be perfect? To have the perfect career/job, house, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, life, body, school exam results, friends, family...Nothing in life is ever perfect. This is what we need to explaining to the generations to come. Life is Life, its what we make it, not what we are expected to be!

If there was a thing such as perfection, we wouldn't have failed businesses, divorce, murder, theft, jails, war,  and the list goes on. So we already know that nothing in life is perfect, so how come its so hard to live a life that we are happy with and don't have to go searching for something that isn't there? This is a big part of the disordered eating and eating disorder world. That perfection is always searched for and as we can only really control our bodies, of what goes in it and out of it, we find that we get so caught up in the search for perfection that we forget that reality isn't what we think it is. Its a false sense of reality, that we are fed through social media and society that we should have the perfect body for summer, the perfect job, saying,  its the only way we will really be happy. Its not what life should be, its a matter of doing things that make us laugh, engage in, enjoy, share, and yes even argue about, be passionate about, and that is doesn't have to be perfect to work.

How can we break this on going wheel of looking for perfection in our lives? How do we come to understand that looking for what makes us happy is enough? How do we teach our kids and the coming generations that life is for living not searching for what is not there?

Take a moment or three and stop, look at yourself and see if you are still searching for the illusive world of perfection...if you are, please stop, take time to see that its not there, and that finding what makes you laugh and smile every day is enough, and that you are unique and different and don't need to be seen as being perfect or we all would be the same and that my friends is boring. We are different for a reason.

Have an awesome weekend everyone...

Hayley xx

Same Journey Slightly Different Direction...

ZigZag Sunset

As time has progressed in my recovery from foot surgery and my patience or there lack of has started to surface more in the past week, even to the point of feeling like I had to run away with a writing magazine to have coffee at the local coffee shop and then head out to see the sunset, which may I say was stunning. Then I came home to have some dinner and rest the foot some more and then head for bed.

I have been writing over the last couple of weeks as I layed on the couch resting and then yesterday I just hit a massive brick wall with
it. Writers block I guess, but I just didn't feel the words were working for me or the way I was writing. While sitting at the coffee shop with my magazine I wondered, instead of going down a non fiction style, why not try fiction, but with some truth in the story. I suddenly felt ideas flying at me, luckily enough I had my mobile phone with me to be able to take notes as I was getting the thoughts. As much as I had prior the book style to be non fiction, I didn't even consider a fictional style book instead. I remembered writing a story in year ten at high school for English, and got an 'A' for it. The feeling of getting that 'A' resurfaced with in me, the feeling of accomplishing something that I thought of and that was good enough for such a good grade. So why can't I do it again, and use a deeper part of me to impart words of wisdom in a different way.

Its interesting that you can have such a definite way of doing something and it takes just one little thing, thought, idea, block, etc to get you to think of doing the same thing but just in a different way. This can be done for so many different things in your life. A particular project you are working on, a particular way you train yourself or others in sport. It just takes that something so small to help you to see that you can have the same out come, but doing it in different way, just taking in a slightly different direction. As long as you have the end goal still in mind that is what matters, how you get to that end goal is the journey and one that can have some amazing twists and turns and lessons to learn.

Have an awesome week everyone...

Hayley xx

Swimming...

 Its never to late to dream, its never to late to be the true you. The last day or so after watching a number of TED Talks and especially by Diana Nyad whom at 64 made her dream come true and not with her first attempt. She wanted to swim the area of ocean between Cuba and Florida,  103 miles (165km) in approximately 53 hours and to hear her speak and describe her previous attempt with dealing with box jellyfish, and having to stop, to come back a time later and conquer the distance and be such a massive role model to others either in the life of swimming or sport, to people who are in the corporate world, and even everyday people like myself. To see Diana's strong will and determination is energising.

Its a mind set we get into when we are older and think that we are unable to do what we wanted when we were younger. Even if that goal is so big, why not try and break it down into one that can be reached now.

Diana talks about her team, in such a way that makes her crossing that much more, she calls them the experts, courageous, and she says that they have all been on a journey. You see swimming is normally such an individuals sport, but when it comes to marathon swimming it most definitely becomes a team sport. Not in the sense of multiple swimmers, but yourself, coach, family, spotter, paddler, skipper, etc. For someone like Diana who took on such a huge swim and a massive dream all the people around her were so important to help her reach her dream and to be able to go on such a journey for everyone else I am sure they will never forget.


For my first attempt at swimming Rottnest Channel, even though the distance was substantially less, having my team around me during the months of training, my paddler for the times we got to go out before the event, an on the day the fact that we were both sick due to the carbon monoxide coming from the boat fumes and the fact that he could keep me going for as long as I did and get through his own issues. My
spotter, who is just so awesome to have and the awesome mothering person she is and strict when I needed it with my feeding. My Skipper well, for me as much as he skippered the boat we didn't many dealings with before hand. So when it comes to the next attempt we will be having someone who is a friend which I am sure will just add that little more excitement on the day next year. I was super lucky to have an awesome training partner that had my back through all the months of training and even though we got split up on the swim itself and that I didn't make it to the finish line, he did and to be there for him was great. As much as there was disappointment for me from everyone else there was the elation for my training partner. I guess he was lucky to have a training partner in me that helped with his coaching for the swim. You see having a team around you and not just the ones that are not actively participating on the day such as family which are there to deal with your tiredness, emotions and bitching from frustration, they are so important to the whole equation.

Swimming has taught me so much, not just in the way of being healthy, but to allow me to know that my dream as a child to swim competitively doesn't have to die. I just had to learn how to change it a little bit. As much as I am just a little to old to be a competitive swimmer in the Olympics, I am able to see that the swimming I do now is still competitive, but not against everyone else, but with myself. I have also come to learn that I have a love for coaching and am excited to be looking at taking on a coaching course later this year and to help others with their dreams for swimming to Rottnest, and also Triathlon. I am also excited as I would love to be able to help down syndrome kids to learn how to swim and enjoy the water as part of their therapy in any way.

The peace and tranquility that comes with swimming can't be put into words for me, which is strange as I usually can articulate what some is quite well, though I guess the fact that swimming just runs so deep in me that its apart of me, and this time of not being swimming has allowed me to see this for all the positives that comes with swimming.

 Have an awesome week everyone, and just know, that no matter how old or how young you are, you can still chase your dreams, they may need a bit of alteration, but you have it in your heart to make them come true.

Hayley xx

Do you live for your Resume or your Eulogy?

While being confined to my couch recuperating from foot surgery and to stop myself from going completely nuts, I have been spending time watching TED Talks on many different topics. I found one by David Brooks, called Should you live for your resume....or your eulogy?

So here is my question, which do you live for? your career or your life? I guess it can be looked at as both. People build their careers to provide for their families which is the norm, but do we ever get to a point where that becomes not enough and suddenly we wonder is there more to life than 40, 50, 60, 80 hours a week in an office? Or are we so scared that with out our careers we don't know who we are? Or is it when we have a sudden life changing scare that we start to think deeper than just our careers? So many questions, the answers to them are within ourselves. Only the individual can answer the questions that are relevant to their lives.

I would like it if people who were at my funeral to know that I loved them deeply, was true to myself, loyal to my friends, a role model to my children and others around me. For people to remember me for my stubbornness in away of being positive, standing up for what I believed in, and I guess the most important one is to be able to leave this life with no regrets. I don't want to be in my last days and saying "only if..." I understand why people have a bucket list, but everyday we should be able to cross of something from that bucket list whether it be a big event, or the smallest one.

I am currently writing a book about my Eating Disorder and my Recovery, I don't expect it to be best seller, but I do hope that if one person was to read it and it touched them in a way to start their recovery journey then it has made a difference. Going through and dealing with a mental illness everyday is a challenge with in itself, but to be able to understand and know that you are a stronger person as you go through each day is huge. Not to be known for your mental illness but to be seen as a healthy, lively and yes stubborn individual makes me happy. Stubbornness can be seen as both a positive and a negative and I guess it is in the way you use your stubbornness to which way it goes on the spectrum. For me I used it originally in the negative aspect with my eating disorder and the many tantrums I have had with regards to eating have been huge. Though as I have learnt and come to understand my triggers for my eating disorder and how to deal with them on the positive my stubbornness is more to do with my love for endurance sports. You have to have a stubborn streak in you I think to be able to push your body to its limits at times and know that some events you do will either make you or break you. Its that stubborn streak in you that will keep you coming back, even if you don't make it the first time, you will come back until you conquer the goal.

Ok lets get back to the Resume or Eulogy part. You can build the most amazing Resume, you can have the most amazing career, but is that a surface happiness or is that a happiness that is felt from deep within your heart. Now I am not sayig that people out there whole heartedly love their careers/jobs and that is great, I can say that I do love my job, its not a career for me but its my job. I get to meet people, help people and yes taste some amazing wines and spirits. I also get to deal with idiots, arrogant people, those who think they know more than they do. So yes a very diverse business that I work in, but my job is not my life. Though I think some people around me might think otherwise. I believe my life to be multi-faceted and that gives me paths on my life's journey that keeps life interesting and fulfilling.

Below is the dictionary definitions of Career, Job and Eulogy. Out of the first two which do you have?

Career:
an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training,followed as one's 
lifework:

Job:
a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's
occupation or for an agreed price:

Eulogy:
a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a
deceased person.

As morbid as this might sound, but an interesting experiment, have you ever thought of putting yourself (figuratively) in the thought of your own funeral and writing your own eulogy? I have strangely enough a few times. I guess for me who has a tendency to think maybe a little to much its not that scary to do anymore, but had given me insight to where I am on my life's path. Its interesting to see in your own words what you would think people or yourself would say, positive and the negatives, and just maybe these are some hints for you from the universe to where you are along your life's journey.

Take the time to enjoy your journey and if you don't like it you can change it.

Hayley xx

The Best Motivation Video 2015 - POWER OF CHOICE