Let your Light Shine...Not Your Fear!

Let your Light Shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were all meant to shine, as children do.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same

As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.”

We all have fears, that is natural, its how we deal with those fears that will determine which direction our life can and will take. Fear can paralyze us in many ways, from stopping us from doing something different, being ourselves, standing out in the crowd, living life. We fear what people think of us and what we do, we fear death, we fear living, we fear getting sick, some fear success.

How do we over come these fears? Stand up to your fears. Find the courage within your heart, mind and spirit to over come your fears. We can't live our lives with constant fear of what might happen. Lets take the bull by the horns and run, we can't live fearing, we need to live with courage, determination, joy and happiness.

We are alive to live, to live our lives to the fullest, we have bumps of fear on our life paths, these bumps are to help us to learn what is truly important to us.

Have a great week everyone...Hayley xx

One word...Determination!!!

DETERMINATION

the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose.

 

Boldness, Grit, Bravery, Courage, Drive, Backbone, Tenacity:

These words are Synonyms of Determination...

What provokes your sense of Determination? Is it a song, a positive affirmation, a positive comment from a friend, loved one? Is it a negative comment from someone? Is it a race? Is it an "Aha" moment? Is it from watching someone famous? Is it from something you watched on tonight's news?

We all find our determination for things in our lives in so many different ways. I find mine in all of the above. I have been determined to recover from an eating disorder by wanting to do certain athletic races; triathlon, running, swimming, being healthy for my family. I have been determined to finish races due to bad news. I have been determined to get through uncomfortable situations in my life.

With determination you can reach your goals in life, get through dark moments, inspire someone else to find their own determination. 

Skyscraper

(Original by Demi Lovato)

(Chorus)

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

This is the chorus of a song called Skyscraper which was originally sung by Demi Lavato, I first heard it by Sam Bailey. This song touched me at point in my life where I wasn't sure if I was ready to take the road to recovery from the eating disorder, but after days of playing it over and over again, crying each time I heard it, it was time to hit the road to recovery. I also listen to this song up loud when I am running, it gives me the push I need when I am wanting to stop.

I hope you can find something that pushes your determination button and help you reach your goals and dreams. Enjoy your weekend. Be a skyscraper and reach for the stars and beyond...

Hayley xx

I Will Run, I Will Train, I Will Eat Clean!!!

These past couple of weeks I would say have been the hardest for me, trying to stay focused, trying to stay positive, while dealing with sore shins and a swollen ankle and not being able to run. I have be bad/naughty with my diet, and eating a little more rubbish than I would like, even though its only a little each day, but a little too much. So its time to get back on track and be accountable for what I am putting into my body.

Over the past couple of weeks I have added to my strength training equipment, I now have my 4 kg kettlebell, 4 kg dumbbell set and a step (step aerobics), which is the goal for tomorrow to use after going for a short 4.4km run.

I have 18 weeks until I run my next Half Marathon and do my longest open water swim (3.6km). I need to get my body and mind into the right place for this to happen and do keep my body from getting injured. I made the move this week to set my road bike and trainer (wind trainer) in at my Physio's rooms so I now have to make an appointment to go and use it, where if I left it at home, I wouldn't get on it and make every excuse not to. So yesterday I managed 20 minutes on the bike and yes there was definitely some sweat. Its felt good again to be on the bike and this time, now that I have the extra weight in my legs and body, it was great to be able to push hard even in that short amount of time. So the plan is to do a couple of sessions per week, to maintain some cycling as cross training and some extra cardio, plus the building to muscle in my legs which does help running.

 BOSTON STRONG!

Running the Boston Marathon is a long way from being a reality, but I need to refocus on the short term goals I have set, healing from my current injury, and still remember the long term goal, Boston! Its easy to loose sight on your long term goals if there are distractions in your life, we all have them, and some are good, others aren't as good as we would like. Its also a matter to making sure there are the moments of finding that quiet place where you can refocus and put into perspective things that are happening in your life and get back on track to your goals.

I like to call this the rebuild, where you have your foundation in place, you get slightly off track and you need to re lay the bricks of your goals so they lie a bit straighter on the pathway to your goal(s). Even if we have to lift a few bricks on the path to straighten it, that is fine and these will be needed, as no path is ever perfectly straight.

We need to find what truly matters and live life to the fullest. We don't know how long we have to lay our pathway to our goals, so one brick at a time...

Have a great weekend...Hayley xx

Finding your inner strength...

I sit here tonight at 9:19pm eating my dinner (home made hamburger) thinking. I picked this particular poster above as I have many a time had to search deep within myself for my strength. Now that can be physical strength or emotional strength, or a combination of both at the same time.

There are days when I feel strong from the moment I wake up till the time I fall asleep, then there are days like today where I don't. I feel physically strong, but emotionally not as strong as I would like to be. There is no real thing in my life that I can honestly put my finger on to say, "hey that is the problem." I just feel that so many small issues going on around me just build up and I feel like I am crumbling inside.

I have a tendency to show on the outside to be a strong and confident person, but on the inside I wish I could feel the same, strong and confident. As those days of less strength are now less, I still have them. These are days when I second guess my self, my dreams, my goals in life, and so many other things. I guess we all have days like this and I am sure when I wake tomorrow morning to a new day, I will see things in a more positive perspective.

There is and was a very special lady in my life, who recently I lost. My grandmother was someone who recently taught me the meaning of Don't Quit. Over the last 13 months of her life I watched her go from someone who I could sit with, talk to, laugh with and reconnect with memories of my childhood. Someone who opened my eyes to more things in the world, and not to take everything I had for granted, but also that I was my own person and had the inner strength of a Lioness. I rode my bike down a couple of times in the Summer to see her, which always surprised her when I would wheel my bike into her room, (this ride was 3 hours long and about 80 kilometers). Over the months I watched her deteriorate in health. Her eye-sight was going, her dexterity was going, her memory was going. I remember days I would visit and just sit there, no words just holding her hand, helping her with her meals, as she got to a point of not being able to feed herself. There were days I would leave to head home and be in tears as I thought it wouldn't be long until her passing. Well the other lesson she taught me was Tenacity. She was one very tenacious lady. The days when you though her time was near, you would go and see her a couple of days later and she would be right as rain, doing really well.

My biggest lesson was the first weekend in May this year. I was to do the Busselton Half Ironman (70.3). I had trained hard, put the time and effort in. I got down the Busselton on the Thursday afternoon, and when I woke on Friday morning to a message from my Aunt. My nana (grandmother) was in hospital and it didn't look good. I said I would be up there on Monday afternoon to visit her, if anything changed to let me know. Friday I went for my planned swim and took my bike out for a short ride, which allowed me to process everything through my mind ready for the next day's event. I made it through with my Nana in my mind and heart the whole time. I got through my event. I was extremely happy, yet there was that bitter sweet moment that I knew in the back of my mind that my nana wasn't right.

We got to see my nana on the Monday afternoon, she wasn't good, very distraught. I didn't want to leave her that afternoon but knew I had to. I came back the next day to see her, not much changed. My nana spent the next nine weeks in hospital, which was the best place for her, with the best possible care, By this time her quality of life was little, small amounts of food, and fluid. I remember to reaction when I would visit and feed her, usually breakfast or lunch. Her favorite thing to eat was ice-cream, if there wasn't any around we would go and find some, and the look in her eyes was priceless to say the least, that we could make her happy with something so simple.

The day before her passing was one I will never forget. She was surrounded by her family. I believe she could hear what was going on around her and believe that she loved us all. I felt this overwhelming sense of being so protective of her. I wouldn't let the nurses bathe her as I didn't want her disrupted as it caused to much pain. I got the phone call at 1;20 am the next morning to say my nana had past, I got in my car and drove that cold morning to say my final goodbyes, and be with my Aunt and Uncle, before making the drive back home at 3:20 am.

For me remembering the time I had with my nana in that last 13 months, when I have days like to day I sit quietly and remember her and what she has taught me, then I feel this inner sense of strength start to rise through me, and I know I will be ok and stronger for the next day.

My Grandparents are my angels and I love them and miss them dearly.

Hayley xx

Another week finished...next please...

No matter what you do in your life, find something that will challenge you, and I hope you will see positive changes.

Well today I signed up for the half marathon in Busselton, and the Jetty Swim. Now super excited that I have a short term goal to reach.

This week will be focused more on swimming as I need to rest my shins as they are really sore, and if I don't they won't heal, means no running, which means really cranky me. As I have been trying to re-adjust my running form, I have now got shin sores (splints). I have been given many different ways to treat them, from standing for long periods on my toes with my heal on a centimeter or two from the ground, Radox/Epsom Salt bath, then rub them out, to resting. I will probably try all of these, and see which one works best, as I don't really want my physio pushing his thumbs of steel into my shins and getting rid of them that way, or I will be in tears.

Swimming focus will be to do two sessions of interval work, which reads something like this:

Freestyle/frontcrawl x 400m

Breast stroke x 300m

Kicking with board x 300m

and repeat as many times as I can in 1 hour

I will also do an endurance swim which will be for about 1 hour 30 mins to see what sort of distance I can get done in that time. I enjoy both sessions, though the endurance swim is never easy as you need to keep you mind from so called running away from you, and you don't want to over analyse what you are doing either. Its a challenge.

I will also be in the gym working on different areas of my body, mainly upper body to build more strength for the swim. Abs for the running and swimming, and to look good to. Then Saturday I will try the run again and see how I pull up, I am also going to try out some of my other runners (shoes) to see if that helps, I originally used to wear Newton Running shoes which were great to get me from being a heal striker to a forefoot runner, now as I need to adjust a little it will be worth trying some other runners. 

Whether your dreams are big or small, challenge yourself to make your dreams a reality!

Have an awesome week everyone!

Hayley xx

Journey to Boston...Excited for a new event!

Almost another week done, with just one more run/walk of 5 kilometers to get my 25 kilometers to make my goal distance for the week done. After today's run with shin splints (sore shins) it wasn't my most awesome moment, but did enjoy being out in the sunshine and with another 200 people running parkrun.

I got home with my well needed coffee, and downloaded my data onto Strava, to analyse and take a little bit of time on Facebook before going to work. I came across a post from a friend about an awesome weekend in Busselton (South of Perth), one of my favorite places ever, it is a half marathon on the Saturday and then the Busselton Jetty Swim (3.6km solo) on Sunday. Totally Excited!!!

Busselton Jetty 1.9km out to the end!

So now I am super excited to be doing these events, and being in such an awesome town. So now I sit back and workout my training schedule for the coming summer, with a balance of swimming, the gym and running. I am very lucky to have family and friends that are great support when I do these kind of events, to which I am very grateful. These are the people who put up with my good moods, and bad moods. My frustrations and my moments of awesomeness. 

I feel now that I have events in the middle of my time before my first marathon, will be a great way to stay focused on my training and my nutrition, because if that goes pear shape I won't reach my goals. 

Have a great weekend everyone... I leave you tonight with...

Hayley xx

Journey to Boston...Believing in yourself...

What does your mind believe??

"You can do anything if you put your mind to it!"

The mind is very persuasive when it chooses to be. How many times have you thought the night before you will get your butt out of bed and go exercise in the morning, or you will do something that you are excited about, then you try to wake up in the morning and you lay in bed, you know you should be getting up and going, but you mind says, "Nah stay here in your warm bed and just chill for the morning." So in the end you listen to your mind, not your body and stay in bed. The body says, "no lets just chill." I believe its your mind saying it all and the body just follows. The mind is the organ that tells the body what to do.

My mind has put me through an eating disorder for the last 30 odd years, and the constant need to be on the go. Most of the time I was exercising even as a youngster, any time I wasn't happy I would either go for a walk, or ride my bike or take my dog for a walk. I would go walking anything up to 3 times a day.  If my parents argued during the day I would be out walking, if they argued at night I would be in my room wishing I was out walking. As I grew up I needed the feeling of the endorphin's that made me happy, well I thought I did. I thought I needed to be skinny to be liked by people. I thought so many things and many of them were very unhealthy.

I spent most of the end of last year and the beginning of this year thinking I was doing well and dealing with my eating disorder, but I wasn't, again I thought I was, but I wasn't listening to my body telling me otherwise. So what you think isn't always best for your body.

You see the mind can have a negative and a positive impact on your body. I believed I could do all my Ironman 70.3 training on eating just enough, I believed I was well on the road to recovery from my eating disorder last year when I wasn't, I believe I can achieve running my first marathon next June, but this time the difference is I understand that I need to do it in a healthy way. There are days when I believe some of the negatives, but then I know part of my mind can turn the negatives into positives and make sure I eat right for the training I do. 

Find the positives and set your mind to them and your body and life will follow.

Believe in yourself, the positives in your life and let your mind take you to places you hope to reach.

Have a great Friday and weekend :)

Hayley xx